It's taken me two days to work out how to write this question.
For a heads up, it's a long one. And to sum up, I don't know whether to leave her or not. I'm giving examples of things that have happened. I guess it's helping me to write everything down.
I'm a lesbian. I'm 29. We've been together three years next month. We're saving to buy a place atm. She's 27. Been together three years.
When we first met, everything was all good. I really was enjoying her company and I felt like I'd hit the jackpot.
I had just quit my job in the UK for an opportunity in Switzerland. This didn't work out for numerous reasons.
So in January of that year, two months after we became official, I took a delivery job with Domino's until I found a role in my line of work. I started on New year's Day, it was supposed to be an intro shift and I'd start properly the next week. I'd made plans to see her the next day and have movie day.
At the end of my intro shift, I was told I did well and that they actually needed shifts covered that week. Could I come in tomorrow. Of course I said yes, I needed the money at that point. I called her and explained, asking if we could do the movie day on the weekend. Expecting it to be ok.
It wasn't ok. It started a huge argument about how she felt let down. I quit the job, as she suggested. Looking back, I feel this is where the relationship should have ended.
Fast forward from here, things got a bit strange. I'll give a few examples for anyone who's made it this far down..
I got a role in my field eventually. One night I'd worked late and came back to hers. I fell asleep around 1am, no alarm set as we both had the day off next day. I was woken at around 7am by her dropping an extension cable on my foot. She shouted, oh you're up! Great I've been up for ages. I was pretty annoyed by this as I had worked 9 days on and just came off a 14 hour shift. Apparently she didn't see my foot.
Another night, we went to see a movie at the cinema. I will add this in as it's important in this example, I experienced abuse from a family member at a young age. The movie contained scenes that hit a nerve with me. I was very uncomfortable with the rest of the movie. When we got home, I cried. She asked me what was wrong and I explained. She comforted me and I tried to go to sleep. This was interrupted by her "making a move". I was confused. She could see I was still crying? Why would she.. especially after explaining the abuse. When I rejected her, she told me I didn't want her and she cried. I felt disgusting.
I've always to go to hers. She won't even meet me anywhere. I recently suggested dinner. I work a 40 mile drive from her house. I suggested we meet at the restaurant after work as driving to hers first would add around an hour of driving for me. She was working from home that day and the restaurant is 20 minutes drive for her. She lost it at me for suggesting we meet. She said she deserves better. I don't understand, I only asked if we could meet somewhere..I thought we were a team.
She plays football for a team.. recently she's been telling about girls who take their tops off after training. She tells me she wants to know who's gay and who's not, she tells me it gets her thinking.
I play a different sport for a team. I train twice a week. She tells me I go too much. I should spend some of the time with her. I have one friend. She plays for my team. I give her a lift because she can't afford a car. She says I would never do that for her, I only care about my friends. She said, I know where your priorities lie and it's not with me.
She's broken up with me seven times so far.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading.
I don't know where I'm at anymore. We're meeting tonight to decide where we go from here. Although she's told me we're going to the cinema first, if I don't go she'll go alone.
Do I break it up? Maybe I have spent too much time training..maybe it's not normal to meet someone at a restaurant. I don't know anymore.
Thanks, stranger. Knowing you read this helped me.
TL;DR - I don't know if I'm causing my relationship to go down the drain or if my girlfriend is causing a problem. Explained what's going on and how I'm meeting with her to end it or not end it.
Submitted August 26, 2021 at 02:54AM by Obligation-Serious https://ift.tt/3yhFmzx
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