I [35] asked my girlfriend [34] to deal with some personal issues and call me when everything is dealt with.
I'll try and condense this, it's a big story but I'll try my best. I have been going out with my partner for 2 and a half years now. We get on extremely well and everything is great except one big issue. My Girlfriend has a 4 year old from a previous marriage. I get on very well with the daughter. The issue is more around her ex husband who is very much still on the scene because of the child. I never get in the way of the father/daughter relationship and my girlfriend is very accommodating in allowing the father to see the daughter. This is great but also the problem we have right now.
We are at the stage where we want to move in together. We agreed the best option would be for me to move in with my partner and her daughter to not disrupt the child's life. I have my own place which I'll rent out and my girlfriend is looking to buy the house from her husband at market price. They have been broken up since the daughter was 8 months old. Since they broke up the father hasn't moved all his stuff out and often makes excuses to come over and pick stuff up at his convenience. I didn't get involved in this part at all and it was a continuing habit that has never been broken.
Now that we want to move in together, her husband is putting up a fight. He is playing the guilt card saying that a family should stick together and they are harming the child by not being together.
I do sympathise with the father as he feels he is losing his home and his daughter (which he won't) but the relationship is over and had been for a while and it will never work. My girlfriend is willing to buy the house and start a divorce but he is refusing. I'm frustrated on my part as these conversations have been going on between them for 2 months now and it hasn't progressed. She is starting to resent him. He does stay with his parents and can afford to move out to his own place but he seems to think she will change her mind. I think the biggest change for him is that he currently freely walk in to their home to see their daughter and now that I'm there it won't be that easy. I wouldn't stop him from seeing his daughter but he does keep some of his cycling equipment in the house and calls in to get it every couple of days which I don't want to happen. He needs his own storage for his things.
I asked my girlfriend to be straight with him. He isn't accepting it. My partner and I went away last week together for a few days and she told her ex husband to move all his stuff out of the house by the time we got back. This didn't happen. The situation is still the same.
I called my girlfriend the next day and explained that this situation is holding us back. I told her that she needs to sort everything out and call me when it is sorted and we can talk about moving in again. I said I won't see her until everything is clear for us to move forward. She replied saying she understands my point of view and it's fair.
This was 6 days ago. We haven't spoken since. She hasn't been online on any form of social media for 4 days now.
I'm not sure what to think about this. Is this a good or bad thing? I know its not an easy situation but her husband won't let go.
TLDR: I told my GF I won't see her until her ex husband has removed all his belongings from her house and we have a fresh start and she hasn't been online for 4 days now.
Submitted July 03, 2021 at 07:19AM by bobbybobaccount https://ift.tt/3dHJelT
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