im typing this feeling so angry, I (19, F) just moved in a new place because in the previous one my roommate (45, M) (when I say roommate I meant a flat mate sorry x) was making inappropriate jokes and I didn’t feel safe around him to the point where I would dread using the shared kitchen and in general leaving my room. I’m the kind of person that’s really easy going and friendly, I don’t really initiate conversations but if someone’s trying to talk to me I’ll happily have a talk. The problem is my new male roommate (M, 21) got drunk and was making me uncomfortable by getting too close to me, touching my back and finally wanting to go in my room being very intoxicated, he left when I asked him to but I’m shaken and angry. I’m pissed because I’ve had so many situations when I’m being kind to someone and they take it as a sign to pursue me or behave in a way that’s clearly making me uncomfortable. My previous roommate (45, M) also started acting weird after I became friend with him and just talked to him and listened. I had also another two situations where I was taking to a guy as friends to get to know them and they took it as a sign that I was into them and then when rejected said I “led them on” or was being a bitch - of course not to my face but to their friends. The problem is - I really am not behaving in a “promiscuous way”, I’m not flirting, suggesting anything - I’m just being fucking nice. I asked my friends for objective advice but they said there is nothing wrong with the way I communicate, I’m just being plainly friendly. And by that I mean agreeing to hang out and doing regular stuff like cooking, talking about my day and then listening about their day. I’m even pissed I have to stress this and explain my behavior. I just wanted to get if off my chest and ask for advice because at this point I’m really doubting if there’s something wrong with me or what is it that these situations keep on happening, I’m also getting really bad trust issues with men where I’m genuinely getting more and more scared to befriend them in case they take it the wrong way. I’m done with feeling unsafe and questioning if maybe I’m putting myself in danger by being nice. I would just like to know how to deal with people like this, or maybe how to show you’re not interested in any relationship? Or if my behavior is at fault, what is considered too friendly? I’m genuinely doubting myself at this point so even just someone letting me know I’m not crazy or sharing similar experience, thank you!! x
TL;DR - I feel that a lot of people think I’m interested in them and act inappropriately because I’m just being friendly towards them, and if I reject them blaming the situation on me
Submitted March 25, 2021 at 03:00PM by werkajk https://ift.tt/39e1p0c
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