I like having my boyfriend around, but I’m already a bit of an introvert and it’s take a toll on me that I’ve been staying at his house for the past few months. This is because we wanted to try to see what living together is like anyway, he injured himself and he could use the company since he couldn’t work (and with corona and everything), we’re at his particularly because he knows that if we move together he’d much rather stay in his area because it’s close for him (and my commute will become longer, but my job will at least cover it if we move). My commute becomes an hour longer each way but I thought I could manage it okay (It’s not ideal but I get a bit of a bicycle workout out of it at least anyway! Or I can veg a bit on the train if I’m feeling it)
Anyway, the combination of living together and the lengthened commute does decrease my alone time a whole lot more. This is a little expounded by the fact that my boyfriend gets lonely very quickly and even though he is working now, he gets off much earlier (afternoon vs my 8-4) and has a lot of time alone. Oh what I wouldn’t give!
And so I asked him this evening because 1, I need some time by myself too, 2, I haven’t been feeling very confident in my dancing and I want a bit of time to work on that without anyone around and 3, he lives in a single room house if I could have an hour or two each week to have the house to myself and practice dance. I told him I’d like to dance around him again soon, but he can have a lot of commentary sometimes or he’ll try to hug and touch me while I’m trying to focus sometimes and it’s been hard to get into a flow and I’m losing confidence. He first immediately said no, and then told me he didn’t understand why he had to leave his own house (which he usually calls our house) for me to dance alone. He asked why I couldn’t just dance with him there or why I couldn’t just go dancing outside (“no one would even care enough to look”) he said if I’m going to dance in front of people (I do already), that I’m going to have to get used to him watching first etc. He said that he would practice music (which he’s really good at) in front of me any day and that I’m being selfish, but I don’t feel like I’m being that demanding, really. I see him everyday and he wants me to spend time with him when he’s feeling lonely even if I’m doing something for myself, so I don’t get why it’s a big deal to ask for time for me too. He often goes outside to play guitar anyway, so I suggested timing it up so it works out and he still said no. Am I crazy for thinking there’s not a lot of compromise going on here? I could really use some internet insight.
TL;DR, If I’m not at work or on the train I’m with my boyfriend who wants me to stay at his house, but I feel like I need an hour or two a week (preferably so I can practice dance at home alone). When I expressed this he said it was a bit much, and now I’m unsure if I’m crazy for thinking it wasn’t a big ask.
Submitted March 03, 2021 at 06:03AM by Turtleneck-4-ur-legs https://ift.tt/3bh6wOV
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