Throwaway for obvious reasons.
My BF(28M) and I (28F) have been together for 6 years, living together since Covid. We met in a FB group, hit it off for a few months, made it official when I traveled to see him, and 5 years ago he moved back to his home state to be with me. I didn't know it at the time, but he was a virgin, and he didn't tell me until we had been dating for 3 months. We has only had sex a few times because of the long distance and I'd just chalked up any fumbling or hestiation to him being nervous because otherwise it was pretty normal/good.
Up until now our sex life has been running on my enthusiasm to respond to lack-luster attempts at foreplay. (He's nibbling on my ear/neck, but it's not THE spot that makes me really shiver, he's not using his breath, going too fast, forgets to tuck my hair back first so he gets sexy a mouthful of hair, does remember to pull back my hair but pokes me in the eye in the attempt, throws me onto the bed to ravish me but the bed is covered in clean laundry and sleeping cats, etc.) The sex is not bad, and usually pretty good so he's obviously learned a thing or two since we've been together, but he's having a lot of problems with the initiation, and everything leading up to oral or actual sex.
I love him dearly, and I know that he has issues surrounding his lack of experience, so I'm really at a loss here of how to proceed. I give little suggestions here and there, which he always accepts with enthusiasm and tries to put into effect. But I'm worried about what a bigger "talk" about this would do to his confidence and feelings. I don't want to call his sexual prowess into doubt, he's a giving and considerate partner. I know if it would even do more good than harm. I know that he needs my help and input to navigate this though if there's going to be any improvement.
I really wish some older dude would mentor him a bit instead. I'm not even sure how to go about teaching him?
Further complicating things, I admit a selfish want for him to just figure him out and for me to not have to teach him. I feel horrible but I REALLY miss the feeling of a confident guy taking charge of the sexual encounter, and playing me like a violin.
So I'm looking for help, does anyone have any experience with this? How can I communicate my needs to him without hurting him? How am I supposed to teach him these things? Are there resources? Please halp me.
TL;DR: I (28F) love my boyfriend (28M) of 6 yrs deeply, but I'm his first and he doesn't have enough sexual experience/knowledge for me to be satisfied anymore. He is sensitive about his inexperience. How do I communicate my needs or teach him what I like? How do I teach him how to do sexual things better without shattering his confidence?
Edit: A big thank you to the people who helped me figure this out and see what was going on, you did not disappoint.
Submitted March 02, 2021 at 01:36PM by hornyhelpthrowaway https://ift.tt/3ba9FzR
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