I (50s) may be acting too motherly towards my young neighbours (20s?) and worry I am crossing a social or personal boundary

I am in my 50s and have lived in my neighbourhood for nearly ten years with my husband but the house next door (and many in the area) are homes renovated into apartments for students so there are lots of young people around. I have seen and spoken to two young ladies new in the past year, often when I go outside at night to toke, they live next door. Sometimes they come out and chat with me in my backyard (over the fence) I don't know if we are "friends" but we are certainly friendly

Sometimes they lack things they need, and I will gift them an old beat up blender or toaster. It is nothing to me and they need things. In return they sometimes come to help me, like helping me hang up shelves when I need an extra pair of arms. My husband warned me not to be creepy by chatting with young people and I try to keep that in mind, but nothing seems untoward to me personally.

I might have crossed a line when one afternoon when one of the girls asked if I could make a dentist appointment for her because she was afraid to call them. At first I chuckled a little but she insisted and seemed sad. So as bemused as I was, she handed me her information and I made an appointment for her. I did it on speakerphone and we chatted afterwards about how the offices really don't care if you sound awkward, just have your insurance information ready to read off of a paper and you will be okay. I told her this was a good and easy skill to learn (that's why I did speakerphone so she could hear both sides) because I remember being anxious about silly things in the past as well and she needed an appointment so I thought it wasn't too strange

When I told my husband later he suggests I may be crossing a personal boundary and he may be right. We are only neighbours and of very different ages, so not peers. And maybe I am acting like a mother, which could hold those girls back in the long run by preventing them the need to face some awkwardness themselves.

On the other hand, it seems harmless to help neighbours when you are able.

We only speak over a fence but sometimes drink tea across the fence and chat a bit. It is nice to have company and they seem sweet. So I worry I am being selfish in wanting the company and so am acting in an inappropriate way towards these students now.

Can anyone advise on figuring out the best way to proceed? I'd like to be friendly neighbours, but would not like to be the weird old lady messing with the college kids.

TL;dr: I might be getting too friendly with the young ladies (20s?) who live next door and acting like a mother and therefore crossing boundaries

Submitted March 02, 2021 at 10:25PM by lebu00 https://ift.tt/3qc2Q5h