We’ve been dating a little over 7 months, initially met online but ending up meeting up in person and we both felt a spark and quickly became exclusive. He works in the cannabis industry (it’s legal in our state), and has never hid the fact that he smokes weed regularly. I don’t have a great history with weed (don’t love the way it makes me feel) and almost always prefer a drink or two when hanging out with friends or socializing. However, I’ve been trying to be more open-minded and while I was hesitant at first, there was a lot to like about the guy and I fell for him pretty quick. He is supportive, thoughtful, handsome, and shares many similar values to me. Basically, the relationship is perfect in every other capacity.
Recently, however, I’ve been getting more and more annoyed every time he smokes weed around me. I don’t so much mind him using it medicinally to relax and help him sleep (he has a lot of anxiety), but the other day for example we woke up and went to get lunch and he smoked a bowl or two before heading out the door. Not enough that he was stoned out of his mind, but enough for me to tell he was high. Then I had the realization that the majority of time that I have known this man, the majority of time we have spent together, he has been high in some capacity. That made me quite sad. At first it was a fun fling so I think I was able to look past that aspect but now it’s been over half a year and the relationship is getting more serious, and I’m having trouble imagining a future with him if he’s high all the time. What if I bring him home to meet the parents and he shows up high? What if we want to plan a trip to a someplace where weed isn’t legal?
He knows I don’t like smoking very much, and I have brought up how much he smokes in the past, but never gave him an ultimatum or anything like that. He mentioned that he wanted to “cut down” but I haven’t seen that happen. If anything his use has just gone up. I’ve been putting off going the “me or the weed” route, because I don’t want to be the girlfriend that forces the guy to change his habits just because she doesn’t approve of them. Like I said, he has never hid it from me and he is very open about how it helps him and is part of his lifestyle. I just sometimes feel…. lonely. When it’s just the two of us and he’s high. Part of me feels silly that I even let it get this far, because I had my doubts about it in the beginning and I ignored them and now we genuinely love each other (this is the deepest relationship both of us have been in emotionally), so breaking up seems like the worst case, most painful option.
I’ve been gathering my thoughts to have a conversation with him, and I’m wondering how I should approach it. Are we fundamentally incompatible and I should just cut it off now, however painful that may be? And know that it’s a dealbreaker in future relationships? Or do I ask him to cut it down to a level I would be comfortable with (just evenings & weekends and not on our dates) and see if that works as a compromise, at the risk of him resenting me for being the controlling girlfriend?
TL;DR My bf smokes weed when we’re together and it makes me feel lonely, but it has always been part of his lifestyle. Do I recognize my mistake in entering the relationship in the first place and cut things off now, or attempt a compromise?
Submitted March 23, 2021 at 02:49PM by throwaway56473123 https://ift.tt/3tRU6mK
No comments:
Post a Comment