My (26F) boyfriend (26M) of 5 years broke up with me because he needs to find himself.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. Throughout our relationship, we’ve never had major problems. We loved each other deeply, and it seemed like both of us wanted to be together for the long run. During this pandemic, he lost his job and it seems like he lost his sense of self. He started isolating himself, not taking care of his health and overall shutting out. He was still kind and loving to me, but he was obviously not in a great space.

Two months ago, he started expressing his feelings about wanting to be alone. About how being alone may help him grow and get him on a better track. From that point, he asked me for a break - we did that. Then we’re done the break, we’re good for a week, then he asks me to break up (over the phone) and when, I see him the next day, he tells me he made a mistake. I’m obviously frazzled because throughout our entirely relationship, it’s been smooth sailing but now, I’ve been put through an emotional rollercoaster. We then go on another short break (2 weeks), he tells me he wants me back and then ONE DAY after, he’s telling me he wants to break up because he can’t try. That he is no longer emotionally available and that I don’t deserve this.

Although what I have described is an emotional rollercoaster and I don’t deserve any of it, I still feel so sad for him. I know he’s not himself and he’s been such a loving and kind partner to me for all these years. I wish I could fix it but I can’t save him and I’m crushed that he wants to let go of our relationship because of how he feels for himself. He says he loves me and he wants to me with me but he can’t. I want what’s best for him, but what’s best for me? Do I hold on to hope or do I move forward? Do I make sure I do no contact so he can be alone? I know this is a ridiculous question and the answer is probably no, but do I wait?

I love him so deeply and I wish things were different. I hate it here.

TD;LR - my boyfriend and I broke up after 5 years because he doesn’t feel like himself anymore, but he says he still loves me - what do I do with my feelings?

Submitted December 04, 2020 at 07:48PM by figuringitoutforme https://ift.tt/3gbZEDf