WARNING: Long post, so read at your own risk.
Posting on a throwaway account since people in rl know my main one.
Over the past year, my mom has had a pretty difficult time. She divorced her ex-husband in Late 2018 and moved to her own place in early 2019. She made a lot of terrible financial decisions while she was living on her own. She was living way beyond her means. She was living in a luxury apartment complex that she couldn't afford and she got a brand-new Mercedes Benz that she couldn't keep up with the payments. Just overall, crazy spending and terrible financial decisions. Apparently, Sometime in March she also had lost her job (I didn't find out about this till WAAAY later), so I have no idea how she was able to keep up with any of her payments.
Anyway, fast forward to May 2019 - Finals week is approaching and i'm getting ready for graduation. The weekend before finals week, my mom got hospitalized due to a bad case of unexpected Pneumonia (She has Lupus too, which I think worsened it). Legit thought my mom was going to die. That weekend and finals week was the most stressful and emotionally exhausting period ever. I was juggling finals, job interviews, and going to the hospital to see my mom. My aunt (55F, mom's sister) flew in from Florida because the situation was pretty bad (again, brink of death. Pneumonia is no joke). My aunt stayed here for a week and during that week we found out about my mom's expenses. My mom didn't make much from her work that she had lost (15/hr), and she was paying 1200+ in rent and 800 in the car payments monthly. Keep in mind, this is not including all the other crazy spending and other necessary expenses she had. We obviously had a long talk with my mom and had her give up her Mercedes Benz to the dealership. My mom and aunt made a plan that my mom would stay with my aunt in Florida until she could get back on her feet. My mom was hospitalized for a few more weeks and I stayed at her place after she got released to help her around. My mom ended up moving cross country to Florida that July.
Fast forward to now, my mom has been living in Florida with my aunt for several months and my aunt has been more than helpful. She's living with my aunt for free and has been covering all of her current medical expenses such as prescriptions and doctor visits. My aunt is also covering my mom's lawyer fees and traveling expenses as my mom keeps having to go to court with her ex-husband (and to do that she needs to fly back here). My aunt has been more than helpful and she really doesn't need to do all that she's been doing. However, my aunt had called me one day a couple months back to tell me that my mom and her had been arguing a lot since she has been down there. It's really taking toll on my aunt and it's not fair to her. Apparently, their arguments can get really nasty that it's toxic for both of them. My aunt told me that they constantly argue and that my mom has said some pretty nasty stuff towards her. My aunt doesn't need to deal with that toxicity, so I told her to do what she thinks is right. Yet, nothing came of it, so I assumed they had made up.
Yesterday, I called my mom to see what's up. She was discussing how she didn't like Florida and how she doesn't want to be there anymore. I obviously asked her why and if everything was okay, yet she refused to tell me anything. Though she claims that she misses me, as an excuse. She then starts saying that she wants to move back and move in with me. Right then and there, I just replied with a big "NO". She replied with something along the lines of "well, i'm sick, so you need to take care of me." I immediately changed the conversation and ended our call rather shortly as I was pretty upset at that point. I'm assuming that both my aunt and my mom have reached a tipping point with one another and that the situation is about to go south.
I feel like a major ass, but I don't want my mother moving in with me. As a 22-year-old male, who recently graduated college and now living life on my own terms, I don't want to be responsible for another human being. I'm really early in my career, only making 42k annually and having plans on going to grad school part-time this coming Fall for a Master's. If my mom lives with me, I don't see how I would support her without there being any stress. I'm just now learning how to be financially independent and I feel as if I would be putting a hold on my life to take care of my mother. I enjoy my personal freedom and I don't want to give that up, it would just seem unfair to me. On the other hand, if my aunt kicks her out then my mom has absolutely nowhere else to go. As my mom's only child, she really doesn't have anyone else in her life to rely on. I feel like the biggest asshole for saying no and refuse to having my mom move in with me and financially supporting her, so I need an outsider's perspective because i'm obviously biased.
Please reddit, give me advice. I'd appreciate it so much right now.
TL;DR - Mom lives with aunt due to ongoing health issues, going through a recent divorce, and trying to get her life back on track due to poor previous financial decisions. Tension between them is growing and now my mom wants to move back here and move in with me. I don't want her to move in with me but I feel extremely guilty if she has nowhere else to go.
Submitted January 31, 2020 at 08:35PM by Throwawayacct2797 https://ift.tt/2Oitqcu
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