My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married for three.
When we first started dating we were both living and working independently. Through this time I've gone back to school and finished my degree and am working my ass off to get a permanent position in my field.
My husband has not held a job for longer than a year, and spent November 2018-October 2019 unemployed and depressed. After giving him an ultimatum to find a job or I was splitting our finances, he took a minimum wage job where he's still working now, but he's talking about leaving again.
Throughout our relationship he has said multiple times that he works to make sure I can be happy and successful, and I push him to work a job (or at least have hobbies) that make him feel purposeful. I am constantly helping him organize events for his band to play at and encouraging him to continue searching for purpose, but he's always "too tired".
This has come to a head recently as I just started a new job. I have needed more help around the house, and specifically needed something mailed during work hours (easy for him, difficult for me). He hasn't done it. He promised he would mop up the salt in our entryway. Hasn't done it. He told me he would fix the car. Hasn't even bought the parts. He tells me to remind him, I say it isn't my job.
This has been an issue throughout our relationship, but I am just so tired of having to ask him and him expecting praise for every little thing needed to keep a house running that I just do it myself.
How can I convince my husband to take initiative in his life?
ETA: It came to a head today because he has been drinking much more lately, and he went out for brunch with his friends and drove drunk home (VERY uncharacteristic) and then was too drunk to pick me up from work.
Tl;dr: My husband lacks ambition and needs me to lead him down every path to be successful.
Submitted February 01, 2020 at 04:13PM by jealousgirlie https://ift.tt/2OoqKue
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