I (19F) moved about a week ago and I thought I’d be thrilled to be on my own but I feel like I may have made a mistake

To avoid making this too personal and revealing, I am a 19F who just moved out of my dad’s house. The reasons why I wanted to move were because:

•My dad and I have a weird relationship. He is always so kind to me for the most part, but he can also be really manipulative and financially controlling. He would often take all of my work money until I decided to just open a separate bank account and switch everything over.

•My dad and brother are complete slobs. Every room in the house except for mine was always smelly and dirty, and I just hated being in that house.

•I come from a small, conservative town and as a gay teen I felt like I was really stuck there.

•I really just needed to be on my own. I love my friends and family so much but I would feel so depressed and anxious being in my hometown that I was never happy, I was always on edge.

So, I moved to a city that is about 2 hours away. I moved into a student based apartment with my friend and I have a good job right now and money is all good... but I have no motivation. I’ve only been here for a week but I just don’t want to do anything. I’m stalling on my schoolwork and while I want to make friends, I feel too anxious to go out. What’s crazy is that my relationship with my dad is so great now, we call each other every day and have good conversations and I feel a mutual respect, same with my brother. Why couldn’t it be like that when I was home? I feel so lonely here but I also don’t want to do anything about it, and I’m scared that I made a mistake by moving and this will just make me more depressed. Did I make the wrong choice?

TLDR: I moved out to start my life and get away from my weird family situation and gross home, but I miss it now and I feel like I was dumb for doing this.

Submitted February 09, 2020 at 11:15AM by sunlightbeams https://ift.tt/37iriIN