Tried to post this to AITA but they don’t allow posts which mention relationships / hookups, sorry guys.
I [24 M] am currently going through some major career upheaval and some personal struggles that prevent me from being in a good place to date someone. However, I have had this FWB [23 F] for the past few months, on and off, who’s in a similar position; she’s a very busy grad student and doesn’t have time to dedicate to a full relationship, so the arrangement works well for us both.
When I met her, she was on the thicker side. Not “actually fat, just using thick as a feel-good term” body type— genuinely thick. Hourglass shape, round hips, larger in the chest. That’s my physical type when it comes to women, and considering this was a physical arrangement for us both, it was a pretty big reason I pursued being FWBs with her.
Recently she’s gotten into weightlifting and track. She dropped a lot of weight, lost all of her curves and gained a TON of muscle definition. I applaud this journey toward health as I think it’s objectively a great thing to do for one’s body, but must admit I’m not attracted to her anymore. As a result I’ve stopped responding to her “booty call” texts / snapchats.
She asked a few times if anything was wrong and I tried to skirt the question / come up with excuses, but after three weeks of her trying to get answers out of me I was finally honest. I told her pretty much what the post says: I’m happy that she’s taking this fitness journey for herself, but I just don’t think she’s my type. I really do like curvy women.
To be clear, if this were my partner and not just a fuck buddy, I would never end things with them over a reason this shallow / purely sex based. But we literally only hung out to sleep together. That’s the extent of our relationship. What am I getting out of sleeping with someone I’m not attracted to anymore?
Anyway, she got pretty angry. Said a bunch of stuff about me not supporting women, having twisted views on femininity, and how I need to “develop taste” and such (whatever that means?). I feel bad, but I also only meant to be truthful so she’d finally stop asking and find someone who’s super into how she looks now.
TLDR: my fwb’s body changed and i no longer find her attractive. am I a jerk for ending things with her and telling her honestly why?
EDIT nearly every comment in this thread has mentioned “ghosting”. To be clear, I never ghosted, or attempted to ghost her. I ignored her booty calls. I still sent her memes, liked her stuff on Instagram, etc. I didn’t just drop off the face of the earth. When I say I skirted her questions about hookups, I mean I made excuses— not that I just completely left her hanging. Just for clarity.
Submitted February 06, 2020 at 08:45PM by tedtednteddy https://ift.tt/2verz1I
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