I’ve lost an obscene number of close friends over the past couple of years, for various reasons. For example:
My closest friend in high school, I realized that she never made much attempt to reach out to me or hang out outside of school, so I decided to stop texting her and inviting her to do things until she messaged me first. She never did, so we just never spoke again.
In the beginning of my sophomore year of college, I had a somewhat dramatic falling out with my 4 closest friends. Something traumatic happened between one, and then the other three sort of abandoned me while I was very emotionally, physically, and mentally distressed. I ended up realizing that they weren’t the people I thought they were, and completely cut them off, to a point where I switched dorm rooms and moved across campus. After this, I started having panic attacks, eventually having to get a No-Contact Order against one of my former friends after she harassed me.
Finally, spring semester of my sophomore year, someone I considered to be a very close friend completely stopped hanging out with me, despite me reaching out to her and offering to grab food regularly. She ended up talking shit about me behind my back to my boyfriend, and encouraged him to break up with me.
For a little bit of more context, I’m kind of weird. I’m extremely shy and awkward, and I find it very difficult to interact with people I don’t know and to speak up in groups of people. Despite this, I still reach out to people and try to make plans to hang out and just talk.
After losing yet another close friend last week, I just don’t know what to do anymore and I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. Why do people not want to be my friend? What am I doing wrong? How can I just be normal and make friends like everyone else?
I was thinking about reaching out to one of the girls with which I had my falling out in sophomore year, but I don’t know if I should. I don’t really know what to do anymore in general.
TL;DR: I’m weird, shy, and awkward. Lost ~9 close friends and dozens of acquaintances over the past couple of years for various reasons. What am I doing wrong? How can I make and keep new friends?
Edit: I’m in therapy and I’ve joined around 10 different clubs since I’ve been in college. I’m talking more about my college friends than my high school friends, I don’t really care about anyone from high school at all, just wanted to add context.
Submitted February 06, 2020 at 12:47PM by LittleOrangeTaurus https://ift.tt/2uqNfb4
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