I’ve been with my husband for 10 1/2 years. We started dating when I was 18 - a week before I turned 19.
To preface; I was a chubby kid and teenager. Teased and bullied for years. It wasn’t till my senior year of high school that I finally started trying to be healthy and in shape. I lost 50 pounds during the time between the end of my senior year and the beginning of my first year post high school.
So when I met my SO, it was about a year post high school and I was in the best shape of my life. We started dating and were almost immediately inseparable and had sex at any opportunity we could find.
Years passed and we eventually moved in together, got engaged, bought a house, and got married. During those years I slowly but surely gained all 50 pounds back.
While I was back at my heaviest our sexual relationship suffered greatly. I knew my husband was no longer attracted to me. He never vocalized that idea but I knew it to be true. He stopped slapping my ass as I walked by, stopped wanting spur of the moment sex, stopped wanting sex in general. I posted a few times in Dead Bedrooms since sex would only happen once every couple months and when it did it was because i basically begged him to and it felt like a “pitty fuck”. I always felt so ugly and unworthy. He always blamed it on being tired or overworked but I never believed him.
Well last year I decided to lose the weight again and I hit my goal weight a few months ago. I now love looking at myself in the mirror again and love feeling like I can walk up stairs without being out of breath but I hate all the attention I’m getting from my husband again.
As I was losing the weight he started looking at me with a sexual glow in his eyes, which I hadn’t seen in years. Started wanting to slap my ass as I walked by, wanted to give me extra long good bye kisses and everything else he hadn’t done while I was back at my heaviest.
But now I feel so much resentment towards him. I now feel like he neglected me for being overweight and now that I’m back at the same weight that I was when I met him, I’m all of a sudden worthy of his affection again.
I don’t like it when he touches me or even looks at me sexually. I’ve loved this man for many years but now i can’t emotionally get past this hurdle.
I don’t know if we’re doomed or we should go to counseling or take a break. I have no idea where to go from here.
TL;DR: Bullied as a kid for being fat. Got thin and in shape after HS and then met my SO. 9 years later I had gained the weight back and had a dead bedroom. Lost the weight again recently and SO all of a sudden wants an active sex life. I hate all this attention after years of perceived neglect.
Submitted June 01, 2019 at 01:34PM by BlueBirdieBae http://bit.ly/2Xli4Hc
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