TW-eating disorders
For backstory, we’ve been together since March and I’ve struggled with eating disorders since I was about 14. This came about after he ate dinner one night when I was over. He commented on how much he ate and (jokingly) said “I feel like I just gained 15lbs from that one meal, you aren’t gunna love me anymore.” For reference, he’s 5’11 and weighs probably about 170lbs. So I said, “Babe, you could gain 100lbs and I’d still love you.” He said “Gross, I wouldn’t want you to.” I was kind of taken aback and said “Your weight doesn’t matter to me, I’m in this relationship for your personality.” He responded “If I gained 100lbs I would be unhealthy and would hope you wouldn’t love me.” I came back with “What, so if I gained 100lbs you wouldn’t love me?” And he goes “Nah, I would tap out at like 30lbs.” Like, not at all joking at this point. I was shocked. I’m 5’4 and weigh 95lbs, which makes me medically underweight, so I said, trying to bring a little humor back into this, “Good god! If I gained 30lbs I would be at a healthy weight. Babe, that might be the worst thing you’ve ever said.” He said “Okay fine, like 60lbs then.” I told him women gain 50lbs from a pregnancy easily and he was SHOCKED. (I’m not pregnant, thank GOD, but we’ve casually talked about marriage and kids). We have not, however, ever had the eating disorder talk, but there’s no way he doesn’t suspect that I’m anorexic. I basically never eat around him even when we’re together for days in a row and when we go to restaurants I only get drinks. Even the meal he ate that started the conversation was one that I didn’t partake in at all. (I know I know, I have a problem and am working on it, that isn’t the point of the post) I don’t know, am I making too much of this? This happened like a month ago but I can’t stop thinking about it. Maybe I’m overreacting, to be fair I asked the question and haven’t disclosed my anorexia to him. It isn’t that it’s a secret, it just is uncomfortable to talk about with a significant other and I haven’t crossed that bridge yet with him. Besides this we have a really great relationship, I love him and have been convinced before that he’s the one. I’m not going to break up with him over this or anything and haven’t brought it up since it happened, I just find myself ruminating on it in my head. Am I just overreacting? tl;dr -my boyfriend said he wouldn't love me if I gained 30lbs and I can't stop thinking about it
Submitted June 26, 2019 at 03:06PM by vlameopotato https://ift.tt/2X3PsRW
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