Do I (29F) tell a man that I’ve started seeing (37M) that the sex is so bad it may be a deal breaker?

Throwaway for obvious reasons.

I met a man on tinder that I like. He’s kind, smart, funny, and treats me really well. I enjoy his company and have enjoyed getting to know him over these last few weeks.

Recently, we had sex. The kissing and foreplay were pretty dang good. The sex was brutal. I thought maybe it was because he was nervous or whatever so I didn’t think much of it. I ended up spending the night and we tried a few more times throughout the evening. Each time was about the same. I should note, he is smaller than average and was not able to maintain an erection. He would say he was erect but in my experience (realizing I do not have a penis) he was not hard. This was the problem. He was able to finish twice and was nice but I had the feeling neither of us was all that amped about it.

When I left in the morning I kind of thought that would be the end of it. I like him but sex is very important to me and I didn’t think we had much chemistry in the bedroom. I was under the impression he felt the same way.

We made some small talk for the rest of the week, he was going away on vacation so we would be communicating sparsely anyways. On the night that he was coming home he texted me that he missed me and couldn’t wait to see me. He has asked me to hangout again and keeps asking for dates I’m free.

I actually like him as a person. I enjoy his company and we are compatible in a lot of ways. I don’t feel the crazy I want to jump your bones sex vibes but I am attracted to him. I think I could handle if the sex was okay (not great) but I don’t know if I could handle bad sex.

My question is: do I talk to him about the terrible sex or do I end things based on this incompatibility? If I talk to him about it, how do I do it in a way that will not permanently scar him?

All feedback is welcome!!

*edit: a few people have mentioned not to tell him that I would be ending it over sex. I absolutely would not do this- if there is a cause (anxiety/insecurity/ past experience) I do not want to do any additional harm. Additionally, I am comfortable talking to him about sex; we have had multiple conversations about what we like, don’t like, boundaries, consent etc. What makes me nervous/ uncomfortable is talking to him about his body in a way that is not playful or fun. If anyone has suggestions for how to broach the subject I would be very grateful!

TL;DR! Seeing a new man but the sex was awful. Do I tell him how I feel about the sex or end things?

Submitted June 29, 2019 at 09:55AM by whatdoidothrowaway10 https://ift.tt/2YnCjEP