So to give some background, my father dated this woman (let’s call her Annie) for about 9 years when I was growing up. My parents are divorced and my sister (also 20F now) and I would spend every weekend and some weeknights with them. Annie didn’t have a job and was much younger than my dad; part of the reason she started dating him is because he earns a decent amount of money and she wanted to live a certain lifestyle. She also was the definition of crazy. She would be manipulative, turning my father against us by lying about bad things we did or demonizing us for no reason. I think she had mental health issues and exhibited paranoid schizophrenic symptoms where she would frequently lash out at us for things we never even said or did. My dad and her would constantly fight and I think they were physically and emotionally abusive to each other as well. At the time, things were so bad that they both turned to alcohol and would get black out drunk every single night and fight. Also it’s important to note that Annie would target my sister (who has a disability, making her an easy target) in particular and would harass and make fun of her for her disability. Once she locked her in her room for hours and refused to give her food or water, telling my dad she deserved it because she apparently stole her clothes (she did not, she was like 12 years old for God’s sake). Annie also was anorexic and tried to dictate what me and my sister ate by purposefully making us unhealthy food so she would feel better about herself, contributing to some disordered eating patterns, especially in my sister. I know my father isn’t perfect and definitely contributed to the toxic environment at times, but I feel that his relationship with Annie was the main issue here.
As a whole, the whole situation was abusive and toxic growing up, and my sister has been diagnosed with PTSD from the abuse (my dad doesn’t know this - he is in denial about the effect that this had on us). He eventually broke up with her when I became very depressed and refused to ever see him again unless he broke up with her. After breaking up with her, he told me he felt much better and was happier. He’s been trying to repair our relationship since then and I have forgiven him for the most part. My sister, however, barely talks to him.
Yesterday he texted me that he is back together with her. I’m feeling so many emotions and I can’t believe he would get back together with the woman who made my life a living hell when I was just a vulnerable kid. Who turned him into an abusive alcoholic because shes psychotic, manipulative, and unstable. When I told my sister, she started crying hysterically after I even mentioned Annie’s name. I know that he’s an adult who can make his own decisions and that he is probably lonely, but I don’t want to relieve my traumatic childhood. I never want to see Annie again.
I don’t know how to handle this situation. Should I cut him off? Do I set boundaries? How do I stop feeling like he is betraying me and my sister? How can I make him understand how awful she was to my sister and me so many years ago?
TL;DR my father told me he is getting back together with a woman who abused my sister and I for almost 10 years. How do I handle this situation without letting my emotions get the best of me?
Submitted June 29, 2019 at 11:02AM by imallergictopesto69 https://ift.tt/2FGUAWa
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