Ok, so I am sorry if this turns into more of a rambling/rant but I just have to get this off my chest at some point.
Throwaway because both my SO and her friends know my Reddit Username.
A bit of backstory. I met my now SO when I was in my hometown for summer break. We hit it off, started dating 3 months later and had a very good, stable relationship for over two years now. She is the greatest person I've ever met and we are wonderfully compatible.
Her friends however...might be among the worst people I ever had the displeasure of meeting.
I had a job about 500km away from my hometown and during that time I only had little time to interact with her general friendgroup, but I knew the two girls she hung out with very regularly. She goes to the same University as them and basically sees and talks to them every day. But they generally seemed fairly nice, if a bit...juvenile. Both of them have never been more than 20km from their parents house for prolonged periods of time. They lack life experience and had a slightly naive worldview. But we got along well enough.
About a year ago however, I was able to relocate back to my hometown with my job and was able to spend a lot more time with my SO...and her friendgroup.
It took only a few weeks before I was regularly invited to meetups, pub crawls and other activities that we did together as a group. And it only took me a few of those meetups to realize that over the coure of an evening my SO's friends only had one topic that they liked to discuss: Race.
Which skin colour is the right one, which the wrong. Which minorities should be considerd "countrymen", and which should have their human rights removed.
Bit of a warning, I do not want to make this political. This is not about right or wrong political opinions but about basic human decency.
I was reviled the first time I heard that talk but it took two distinct events for me to put my foot down. The first one was that one of her friends was very much onboard with putting Jewish people back into concentration camps because it had "a great impact on our economy, not because she is an antisemite" (we are all german except my SO, so that is a double yikes), the other was their very outspoken opinion that I was part of the problem in why our country is going downhill because I have the wrong skin colour (once again, gonna omit what that is to not make anything political).
Both of these things happened over the course of a single evening and resulted in me nuking that bridge from orbit. The fact that anyone could associate me with any of these girls makes me wanna wretch.
That was almost six months ago. I haven't heard or seen them since then (thank god) but my SO has still very much kept them around as her friends. My issue is that, especially because of our conflicting schedules and us both being strapped for time generally, she still sees them almost daily.
And the fact that I know that my SO takes advice from them very seriously as well as them both actively detesting me because of my skin colour makes me fear that they might have or at some point will have a negative influence on our relationship.
I have told to my SO about this when I nuked that bridge and she has assured me that she "only has a surface level friendship" with the two girls and that she neither shares any of their "political" opinions nor that she cares for their relationship advice but I have also seen evidence to the contrary.
Am I questioning things too much and driving myself insane? Or is there anything I should do about this?
TL;DR:
My SO's two best friends that she spends a lot of time with are horrible people that hate me and I don't know how to deal with it and or if there are any actions I can take to improve the situation.
Edit: Sorry for the rambling and maybe some bad grammar and spelling. English isn't my first language.
Submitted June 30, 2019 at 12:38PM by Throwaway24_13 https://ift.tt/2XIOQ8J
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