My (39F) significant other's (50M) youngest daughter (23F) is trying to sabotage our relationship and that I am inadvertently helping her do it. I don't know how to handle it.

Throwaway account because the daughter has also been stalking me online. My SO ("Mike") and I have dated since 2012 after he got divorced. We broke up more than 2 years ago because he refused to introduce me to his children and because he was spending holidays with his ex, going to dinner with his ex, etc. with the excuse that he was doing it at the urging of his children. Five months ago he begged me to get back together and promised things would be different. For 4 months everything was wonderful. He introduced me to 3 of his 4 children (27M, 28F, 31M), all of whom are local (New York) and all 3 of whom have been cordial and accepting, if not thrilled that their father is dating. For 4 months Mike and I spent 4-5 days/nights a week together, took his children and my children (19M, 18F) to dinner, went out with friends, etc.

Then a month ago his youngest daughter (Camille -23F) got fired from her job in Seattle and moved back to live with her father. When she met me she refused to even look at me or speak to me. Things have only gotten worse. I have spent just one night at Mike's house since Camille returned (it makes Camille "uncomfortable") and Mike has gone to my house just 3 times because he feels guilty about leaving Camille "alone", even though she could go out with her brothers and sisters or her mother. Camille's mother tries to keep the hostility going as much as possible. For instance she told Camille that Mike and I must be planning to get married or Mike wouldn't be introducing the kids to me (which of course increased the hostility).

Two days ago I insisted that Mike meet me for a drink so we could discuss what is going on. He called it a "moment in time" and said Camille just wants one more "summer of Camille" like the old days where he doted on her, took her everywhere, and only included immediate "family" in outings. She has no friends and she's probably 50 pounds overweight, but very pretty. He says he feels sorry for her and claims he'd rather she go live with her mother 10 minutes away, but he indulges Camille. He has invited me to dinner with Camille but on those few occasions he gives her a lot of credit for even acknowledging me ("at least she said hello") though she won't actually talk to me. Mike pats himself on the back that he has refused to include his ex in any outings and therefore expects me to just weather the storm, though it's up to Camille for how long. He seemed very put off and angry when we went for drinks that I raised the issue and said Camille just has a hard time coping with change and he's sorry I'm not more "tolerant."

Tonight we talked on the phone and he refused to make plans with me - he wanted to see what Camille wanted to do first. This is like deja vu. My "talk" with him backfired and now I'm really the odd man out. I have no idea how to handle this.

TL;DR I think my SO's daughter is trying to sabotage our relationship and that I am inadvertently helping. What's the right way to handle this?

Submitted June 25, 2019 at 09:36PM by amitheloser https://ift.tt/2xeOxDL