Husband (34M) thinks I’m (29F) OCD because I want him to take shoes off and wash his hands (after bathroom) in our home?

We’ve been together for 5 years. I’m 3 months pregnant and granted this could be hormones making me extra upset lately.

So I’m Taiwanese and my husband is American. We met when we were both in the same grad program (in SF) so while I’m still culturally very Taiwanese I’ve picked up a lot of American customs as well (I also went to an intl high school so was always somewhat familiar even in Taiwan).

We live together and one thing that’s always bothered me about him is how 1) he never takes off his shoes in the house unless I yank them off him, 2) he NEVER washes his hands after going to the bathroom in our home and 3) when he showers he doesn’t actually wash his body parts with soap, he just lets water run over everything.

In prior years he would argue that it’s American habits to do the things above, that 99.9% of Americans do what he does and find it normal. He says no American does what I ask when they’re in their own house unless they have mental issues. Sure, but it’s still insanely gross even if it is a “cultural habit.” I’ve never fought him directly on it but it gets on my nerves.

Now that I’m pregnant something has snapped in my head. I REFUSE to let him get away with this sort of stuff now and he keeps saying my “OCD is in full blast.” He’s had his sister come over to talk to me about how enabling my neat freak OCD is wrong and how I should just let my husband do what he wants in his own home. They tell me that in America no one does what I expect and everyone’s perfectly healthy so my “germaphobia” is purely in my head. I’ve talked to coworkers and they too thinks my husband is 100% justified and I’m the germaphobe.

Idk...am I really an ocd germaphobe for wanting these things? I guess I’m not as accepting of American customs as I thought and if this really is an American thing I suppose I could be more lenient?

TLDR husband doesn’t like taking his shoes off, washing hands after bathroom while in our home. He says this is what most Americans do and I should be more accepting since we live in the US. Should I be more lenient and accepting?

Submitted June 02, 2019 at 04:38PM by Deedee23462 http://bit.ly/2Z8Hfxv