My (29F) husband (30M) is an ideal liberal, feminist to the outside world. An academic by profession, he's all about women participation in STEM, male participation in the household chores, equal rights, pro-immigration, yada yada. But he never seems to walk the talk.
We have been married for almost three years now with no kids, and not once has this man made a meal in the kitchen. Not once has this man done his own laundry. Not once has this man bought groceries. To be fair, he does put the dishwasher on sometimes, and vacuums the house once a month, but then that's all. Believe me, I am not exaggerating. A glaring example of his lack of initiative in doing household chores is when I'd a kidney surgery in the recent past- I was hospitalized for two days, I am back in the house on day 3, still bleeding into the catheter, and I'd to beg this person to make Ramen noodles for me. I mean he did make them and everything, but really, your wife just lost liters of blood, get your act straight bruh!
To make things worse, he has completely lied about his finances from the very beginning of the marriage. He sent his parents on an out-of-country trip without informing me, wired them thousands of dollars without informing me. The matter only came to light when I found receipts on his email. Even though he promised he will never lie about his finances again, the seed of distrust has been sown in my head *shrug*.
The biggest set-back I felt in this relationship was when he chose a job in a city with little to no prospects for me, and then forced me to change my career so that I could fit into available positions in that city. I cannot divulge too many details on this forum but he thinks that this move 'will rectify my dead career'.
The reason why I am writing the post right now is because I've reached my tipping point today- His father is suffering from a chronic pain-inducing condition which is getting worse, and my husband has refused to speak with me and chooses to sulk about his father's condition in the room. He's currently sitting in his room, hasn't spoken with me for three days. I am still cooking and cleaning, and he's still eating and enjoying the hotel services.
Am I exaggerating things in my head and choosing isolated incidents to point out on the forum? Is this normal and very contextual, or is there a bigger pattern here? :(
Tl;dr: Married a pseudo-feminist, getting more and more frustrated with each passing day in this relationship.
Submitted June 01, 2019 at 03:40PM by frustratedwoman18 http://bit.ly/2KtL1gT
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