Should I (24f) move into the building where my ex-FWB (28m) lives with his current girlfriend (21f)? I want to, but he doesn't want me to.

I used to hook up with this dude Sam, it wasn't an exclusive thing, we were just college friends who hooked up sometimes. Back when we were hooking up 6 months ago I mentioned that I was trying to move neighborhoods to get closer to my work but I was having trouble finding a landlord with low rent in the area who wasn't a total slumlord. Sam said his landlord was awesome, the rent was really cheap, and that the guy only owns a small handful of properties all on the same block but they're really nice and well maintained. I joked about being neighbors, and he said that would he cool, having a friend nearby or even upstairs. And that I should totally give his landlord a call when I was getting ready to move.

We stopped hooking up a while after that, mainly because I was really busy and stressed and ehausted and my sex drive kinda plummeted. Sam and I stayed friends and he was hooking up with other people. So it wasn't an awkward thing at the time. He understood that I had other stuff on my mind, and didn't take offense when I stopped wanting to casually hook up. He told me he was starting to date a girl he'd been casually hooking up with on and off for years, her name is Sandy. I didn't know much about their relationship, all he really said was that they were together.

This month I have seriously started looking at apartments to live in, I contacted Sam's landlord, plus 6 other landlords I'd heard good things about, asking about openings. I only called landlords that my friends or family recommended, aiv A lot of them didn't have anything in my budget available, only Sam's landlord and two other landlords had openings. I booked times to visit all of the apartments.

Sam's landlord had an available place, actually in the same building Sam is in. The building is a house divided into 4 apartments. All separate, except for a common stairwell and common front door. The first floor is where Sam lives, the second floor is available, and the third floor is split into two units, both of which are taken. The available apartment was amazing, huge for the price, well taken care of, in a great location. It had an amazing big kitchen and lots of windows with natural light everywhere. It would be a short bike ride to work and I'd love being able to bike to work everyday.

The other apartments I saw were nowhere near as nice. Either they weren't maintained well, cramped, too expensive... One even had mold on the ceiling. So I decided to see about renting the place in Sam's place. I texted him saying "bro we're gonna be neighbors" and I also applied to rent the apartment.

My application to rent was approved and I got a lease that I can sign. But, I also got a call from Sam asking what building I'd be moving into. I said that it would be his building, one floor up from him. He'd suspected as much because he knew there was an availability.

He asked if there was anywhere else I could go, he thought it might be awkward because he'd actually just had his girlfriend Sandy move in. I told him about my other options and how they really weren't as nice. All more expensive, and none quite so nice.

He said something that really surprised me then, he asked me if I'd choose one of the other places anyway. I asked why, saying he was asking a lot of me, by asking me to spend more to live in a place I like less. And he told me that Sandy wouldn't be comfortable with a girl he used to hook up with living in the same house.

I said "Don't be ridiculous, it's a totally separate apartment. It's not like a house where we'd be sharing a living room or kitchen." And he said that he knew that, but it was still going to be a problem. He said he regretted telling me to call his landlord. He also tried to argue that since he suggested I should rent from the same landlord, he should be able to take that suggestion back... I don't remember exactly how he worded that, but it sounded ridiculous to me. So I told him I'd think about what he said.

I've been thinking and I really want to sign the lease. Nothing to do with Sam being downstairs, I just love the apartment, and it is by far the best option I've seen. But I am worried about what it will do to my friendship with Sam. We're not super close friends but he is a nice guy despite how he might have come off in this post.

What should I do? Sign the lease? Don't sign?

tldr - I found the perfect apartment. Except my friend who I used to hook up with lives downstairs. And he doesn't want me to move in because his girlfriend would be uncomfortable.

Submitted April 04, 2019 at 01:30PM by beechbay95 http://bit.ly/2FOFCN9