hey guys, in a bit of a pickle here. I met my gf, Annie, roughly 2 years ago. I should preface that Annie's line of work is a little unorthodox, but she makes good money and she's very talented and well known in her field. We rent an apartment together, our relationship is pretty great, no real hiccups, in fact it's almost too good and my friends constantly tell me how lucky I am to have her.
Recently I've been having trouble swallowing some of Annie's friend choices. Among them are Hana[24f], Mike[28m] and Emily[25f]. I've been noticing that every time we go out for food, Annie covers for them. I saw Hana's instagram stories and pictures where Annie will buy expensive food for her (I'm talking very high end!) and Annie generally goes out of her way to spoil her friends. Even when they say they'll pay her back, they never do, and she for the most part doesn't care.
This wouldn't be a problem if I ever saw them reciprocate...which I don't, ever, not to the extent she does for them. Last year's birthday Hana got her a card and a bath bomb, Mike didn't get her anything, and Emily was out of town. Yet Annie got Hana I believe a very expensive purse, and she helped cover Mike's rent for one month when he was struggling.
To give context..Mike can't hold down a job. I don't think I've ever seen this dude work a consistent job for more than three months. Hana gets a lot of support from her parents and boyfriend. Emily I think has a job? I'm not even sure.
When I asked Annie about it, she says Hana has been a long time friend (true) and has been there for her during depressive periods in the past (also true.) Same goes for Mike, and to some extent, Emily.
But reddit.. I did some calculating. If I told you the exact number Annie spends for them, whether it's food, rent, gifts, etc... it's enough to make any SO very worried.
I know she has roughly half mil saved up so far. I know she's very kind and wants to help her friends, but I personally am not comfortable with the amount she's spending on her 'friends.' Something about Hana and Emily makes me very suspicious. Their pictures together are always something along the lines of "spending time with my besties!!! xoxo" sort of vibe, they always, always want to go out to eat (Annie pays for everything), even when they travel to certain events, Annie ends up covering the hotel costs and most of amenities. Mike, to his credit, is a good guy and all, but he also comes off as a leech with the amount of times Annie has covered for his rent or bills.
I am genuinely worried about her. Not financially, but the fact that I feel like her friends are taking advantage of her? Hana and Emily give me very strong ... ugh I don't know how to word this without sounding petty, but they give me very strong mean girls vibes. I don't enjoy their company at all. They're perfectly capable of getting jobs and paying for their own stuff, but they let my gf do everything. I feel as if Annie is just swept along and she's only too happy to oblige whatever they want because she lacks close friends.
I did try bringing it up to her gently. She brushed me off and said it was her friends, her decision, her money, etc, which I quickly accepted because she got a bit defensive. But then I see her spending so much on them, and I can't help but wonder if she's just being used. It's gnawing at me and I don't know how to approach this. I don't know. Am I being controlling? Too mean?
tl;dr I think my gf is being used by her friends, don't know how to stop it.
Submitted April 02, 2019 at 02:05PM by existingwillow https://ift.tt/2YLPhwD
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