My [24F] thinks it’s weird that I try to bond with every lgbt+ person that I meet and they want me to stop.

My family has known that I’m bisexual for years. However my mom [56F] likes to pretend that I’m straight, especially since I’ve dated only two men in the past four years. The only member of my family that talks about it the most is my brother in-law, who just likes any reason to tease me, and who’s own sister is a lesbian with a wife.

But recently I met and started dating a lovely girl and today I told my mom that she might become my girlfriend soon. This sparked our conversation about ground rules. She requested that I don’t tell the rest of our family (i.e. cousins, aunts and uncles, etc.) until she gave the okay. And even if I’m not coming out, I shouldn’t try to talk about gay stuff in front of our family at all. Not even if there were other queer people present.

There has been a couple times when I try to start a conversation with my cousin who is also bi (last Easter I asked if she knew a certain drag queen from her school and my mom literally cut me off mid sentence from across the room) or mention a story about the girl I’m dating (but instead calling her my “friend”. Even then, my sisters wordlessly glare at me) but my mom specifically mentioned that she and my sisters saw me try to initiate a conversation with my brother in-law’s lesbian sister, like I was trying to let her know I was bi for some reason. Except I can’t recall saying anything of the sort last time we saw them. I complimented her wife on her socks, and that’s it (they were purple with rainbow pineapples). I tried asking what she was talking about, but she couldn’t think of an example...

If I do talk about gay stuff a lot, it’s probably because I’m so interested in queer culture. I participate in drag shows, almost all of my friends are queer, I couldn’t complete one course in my English degree without hearing my instructor talk about queer readings, I attend forums and rallies, and I am always interested in reading about theory and history in my spare time. Of course I have other interests and I can hold a conversation just fine, but if I hear someone else is queer or an ally, I would also like to get their opinion on certain matters as well.

TL;DR I can’t tell if I actually am making people uncomfortable in social situations, or if my family is overreacting because they are worried that I am trying to draw attention to myself.

Submitted July 28, 2018 at 02:43PM by RubyBop https://ift.tt/2K9mV70