Info: We’ve been dating for almost 2 years, and live together.
My love language is touch, and my partner’s is as well. I pride myself on being able to give excellent massages, and…pleasure…in general. My boyfriend is extremely satisfied when I give him massages and “pleasure,” and I know because he raves about both.
However, in my opinion, he isn’t very good at either of those things when it comes to me. He’s awkward and fumbling with both, and has past sexual trauma (no sexual violence/coercion) that makes him very insecure about these things. I try to be gentle but clear with my suggestions and advice, I move his hands, I try to explain how to touch me; and he just doesn’t seem to be getting it, and is very embarrassed about it (this is including massages, sexual touching, and intercourse). I can tell he’s trying really hard, but nothing has improved in our nearly 2 years of dating, and I absolutely hate having to tell him how to touch me every single time he touches me, no matter the context. I know it’s worn him down as well. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t like to be touched by him, and I don’t remember the last time we had intercourse.
My love language being touch, this is an extremely big issue for me, and I have felt myself growing distant and resentful that he isn’t able to touch me the way I touch him. He is entirely committed to me and wants to be together for the rest of our lives, and I want that as well, but I honestly don’t think I can take even a year more of this.
Any advice is appreciated. I really want to make this work, and like I said, he tries SO hard to pleasure me. It would be a shame to lose such a wonderful man over this issue.
TLDR: My boyfriend is bad at touching me in any context and it’s wearing on both of us.
Submitted May 05, 2022 at 07:00PM by 4LeavesLuckier https://ift.tt/wYWK1XS
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