I (37M) DJ as a hobby, and it’s something I’m passionate about. I have asked my wife (34F) a few times to come to a gig as support & also to help take some pictures & videos. She refuses to do so and doesn’t think it’s important.

Some background, I (37M) have been DJing as a hobby for the better part of 9 years now. We’ve been together the same length of time (9 years this October). She’s (34F) always supported my decision to do gigs and allowed me the time to get my music set up, etc. She says she wants me to succeed & I believe her.

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The issue we have is this: DJing is something I’m passionate about, and she doesn’t want to come to any of my events. Usually, it’s not an issue because it’s a corporate event so it might be weird to bring my wife along for any reason, but for private events most people don’t have an issue with me bringing someone along. And of course, it hasn’t been an issue for a couple years now because of COVID & the lack of gigs.

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This bothers me because it’s something I’m passionate about so I would want her to come along from time to time (within reason of course) to see me DJ & enjoy the experience with me. And of course, it would be helpful if she took some pictures & videos for me along the way. I wouldn’t ask her to help carry anything because that’s what my cart is for. It would only help me get more gigs.

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Her response to all this is “you’re providing a service, why do you need me to come watch you?” as if I’m asking her to come watch me sell clothes or do an oil change (no offense intended of course, I’m just assuming people who do those things don’t think about having an audience cheering them on as they work, and performing is a little different in that regard). Some of my proudest moments are while I’m DJing, and I just want her to see that. And she doesn’t see how offended I am by the fact that she coldly refuses me and focuses on the fact that she doesn’t have to do this so therefore she doesn’t want to and shouldn’t be made out to be a "bad person". For the record, I have never called her a bad person for this. I have just told her that she could stand to be more supportive in this regard because, if the situation were flipped, I would be the one driving her to all her gigs and cheering her on at every event. When I say that, she just says that she wouldn't expect me to come and uses that as a reason why I have no right to be upset about it.

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Tl;dr I am passionate about my hobby as a DJ, and I need help explaining to my wife why it's important to me that she be willing to come along from time to time, as she doesn't understand why I'm bothered by her refusal to consider it.

Submitted May 29, 2022 at 07:12PM by rccola85 https://ift.tt/ZeLRpTd