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My (43F) family wants me to take out a loan in order to pay their bills.

TLDR: My mother(80F) promised my sister(60F) 100k, after selling one of our properties. From that property, I received 10k, her 60k and the rest of my siblings got 5k each. This was a year ago. Now my sister is demanding the rest of the money my mother promised now, and wants me to take out a loan on my house to pay it. I don’t know what to do, this is stressing me out.

I am a first time poster on reddit, sorry for any mistakes. Also I hope this is alright to post here, let me know if I should post elsewhere.

Essentially, my mother and sister, who I will call mom and Ray, are pressuring me to take out a loan on my home in order to give it to Ray. Originally after selling one of our properties the deal was to give Ray 50k, but mom had discussed giving her more. She gave her an extra 10k, (just for fun????) and I was meant to pull the other 50k out of my ass. I conceded originally, never giving a proper time frame as to when I would give it, because I have my own things to pay off. No one helps me with this, I pay my bills and for my family (mom included) by myself.

The 50k Ray received was barely given to her a year ago, it will have been a year in June. Since then, she has bought a new house and now owes money to the IRS because she hasn’t been filing her taxes since 2018. She wants the money from the loan I would be paying off to pay for that and my theory is to give her daughter (30sF) a nice birthday party, hence why she wants it in June. Also, since Ray is retired she gets at least (i believe) 7k each month in retirement money, but I don’t know where that goes.

Now, this isn’t the first time I have had to take out a loan for Ray. Not long before this, I had finished paying off a mortgage I had taken out on my house to give Ray money, which my mom and dad (who passed) had been helping me pay off. That was when my home was in Rays name. Now it is in my name, and because of that she is convinced I can take out another one. Originally my plan was to give money to her at the end of the year, after I have paid off my credit cards, but she is demanding it now. I have talked with the bank and was told I can take out 100k, of which she would be getting 50k and 30k would go to pay off my credit cards and some to house taxes + home repairs. I would maybe be left with 15k at most. Also I would be paying off the loan by MYSELF as my mom wouldn’t be helping me make the payments. This, on top of all the bills I already pay, taking care of my family ect, I simply cannot afford. The top two floors of my house are being rented, but I barely see any of that money, as my mom takes care of that. I barely make 2k a month as it is, so it is beyond me why they believe I can pull 50k from thin air.

This all happened because of an empty promise on my mothers part, and my sister being irresponsible with her money. It seems as though with every problem in my family I am the scapegoat and it is stressing me out beyond belief. Not just with Ray, but the rest of my siblings, it seems as though I am always getting the short stick. No one helps me, no one considers me, not even my mom, even though I am the only one who cares for her at this point. Yet, despite all this, I am expected to save them and am called selfish and spoiled when I can’t. In the end I only see two solutions. I either sell the house I’m currently living in, take my two kids and just have an apartment that is MINE and mine alone. I would leave my mother with Ray, give them some money and maybe have some peace for once, just getting away from it all. Another part of me wants to concede again, take out the loan and demand my mother helps me make payments. Either way, I’m tired of not being considered, or thanked, or helped, I just want to be at peace.

Is there any advice you guys have in regards to this? Anything else I can do, how I can stand my ground or any opinions from an outside perspective? I can offer up additional information if necessary. I’m just so tired.



Submitted May 28, 2022 at 11:00PM by Measurement-Popular https://ift.tt/RI3dlhA
My (43F) family wants me to take out a loan in order to pay their bills. My (43F) family wants me to take out a loan in order to pay their bills. Reviewed by KING SAMUEL on May 29, 2022 Rating: 5

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