I (M21) caught my girlfriend (F21) of four years drunkenly kissing her female friends at her 21st birthday party.

For reference, this happened last Saturday. I saw her kiss three of her friends at her birthday party at separate times which led me to just walk out. I was a little drunk so I just lied in the front yard until I was sober enough to drive home. The next day I broke up with her. There was no sign anywhere in our four years where she ever gave me the impression she would do something like that. I understand some people are comfortable with that kind of behavior, but I am not. I wouldn't call it cheating in the traditional sense, but I feel so betrayed. I thought her kisses on the lips were a special thing only meant for me. I was wrong.

I really thought I was going to marry this girl. We're both each other's firsts and she meant the world to me. She's always saved her intimacy for me which made me feel so special. I understand young relationships rarely work out but I genuinely thought we could. Just in case anyone thinks it was only a drunken mistake, when I talked to her about it the next day she said she didn't do anything wrong. She had no regrets. It was intentional. I probably would have forgiven her if she said it was an accident and apologized sincerely. Instead she said she just wanted to have fun. Evidently that meant kissing other people. I personally believe she checked out mentally from our relationship a couple months ago and started acting out so I would end it and she wouldn't have to.

The problem is even if she quit on us mentally, I never stopped loving her. In the span of one day, I went from cuddling her while watching Netflix to ending our relationship. I still feel in shock. I can't look anywhere without being reminded of her. Since the middle of high school she's been there for every great moment of my life. I don't know how to let her go. I don't know how to get past this. We did everything together. I can't play a videogame, open instagram, hell even open my damn closet without being reminded of her. It's tearing me apart inside. I feel broken.

I guess I just want someone to empathize with me. I'm sure someone here can offer me a better perspective, cause I'm at a loss. Maybe I just need someone older than me to say everything will turn out fine. If I'm in the wrong place go ahead and delete this. I just need to type it out I guess.

TLDR: I broke up with my longtime girlfriend after she kissed multiple girls at her 21st birthday party.

Submitted May 23, 2022 at 08:22PM by XxHansolodiesxx https://ift.tt/MQab6Pw