I’ve only had one date with this guy (met on Tinder), which sounds trivial, but we’d been texting and calling each other for several weeks before meeting and it got fairly intense quite quickly (talking about being boyfriends and even getting married eventually, which he brought up and I got kind of carried away with and said it sounded great. That sounds stupid when I type it out but somehow it felt normal to talk about with him).
We’re not boyfriends yet and have only had the one date. We had it at my place, which I’d normally think is a bad idea but because we’d talked so much and live far from each other, seemed like a good idea at the time.
On paper he’s awesome: very attractive, funny, kind, and we align on all important values.
However, there were a couple of weird things that happened on the date: The most concerning is when we went to have sex and I suggested using protection, and he said he didn’t want to. I asked if he found condoms off-putting and he said yes. I said I wasn’t going to have sex without a condom so we did other stuff like oral (still risky and unwise, I know. I get tested regularly and will do so again). He seemed a bit annoyed at this but wasn’t pushy and he didn’t mention it again or try to pressure me.
The other thing is, while he was generally very courteous and respectful in my house, he did a few things which showed really bad manners: pissing with the door open when we’d just met, burping loudly, shovelling food into his mouth quickly.
That second one probably seems trivial compared to the first, but it still bothered me (I could potentially overlook bad manners if nothing else was wrong).
In any case, he seems keen to meet again and I can’t help but feel bad that I’m probably gonna have to let him down and say I don’t want to meet again. But the unsafe sex thing has made me uneasy. He says he hasn’t slept with anyone since last year, but I have no way of knowing if that’s true.
I know I’ve been unwise and rushed things here, so I feel like I’ve learned a lesson and will take it much more slowly when I meet someone else, even if they do live far away.
I just needed to get this off my chest because I find it hard to talk about this stuff in detail with people I know in real life.
It might sound silly too, but this guy is actually very nice and polite and I can’t help but feel bad to let him down.
Am I being sensible in letting him down gently and saying I don’t think we’re compatible, or am I overreacting and maybe could try to resolve this with a frank talk about the importance of safe sex?
If I feel uneasy so early on, that seems like a sign I shouldn’t ignore.
Thanks in advance for any input!
tl;dr Tinder date didn’t want to use a condom when we slept with each other, but I refused to have intercourse without one. He accepted this but it still made me feel uneasy. He also has bad manners. Not sure if I’m overreacting if I say I don’t want to meet again?
Submitted May 18, 2022 at 05:23PM by Material777 https://ift.tt/fab1KTk
No comments:
Post a Comment