TLDR: GF cheated early in relationship, apologized and we decided to move past it. However multiple incidents since have led to trust issues and is causing tension

TLDR: GF cheated early in relationship, apologized and we decided to move past it. However multiple incidents since have led to trust issues and is causing tension

Throwaway for obvious reasons. Long post warning.

I(24m) met my G(21f) of 3 years on a dating app during college. We’ve been LDR 2 of the 3 years due to Covid & me graduating before her. Multiple incidents where her words have not matched action are mentioned below chronologically.

1st Incident: 3 months into the relationship, we spent the night together for the first time. The very next day she went to a college party got black out drunk and lost her phone in the process. I didn’t hear from her properly for a week. When she finally calls, she’s crying and says that her peers saw her making out with someone while she drunk, she doesn’t remember any of it. I was taken aback and immediately consoled her, asked for space to think. She blamed it on the alcohol and the environment. All her peers were turning against her because of this drama, she was in a very rough place so I decided to forgive her.

2nd Incident: 3 months after this incident; I was at her college fest. We were drinking at the college bar (same bar 1st incident occurred). Out of the blue a guy approached me and was beginning to introduce himself and proceeded to apologize. I didn’t know who he was. Then I noticed my gf tearing up and freaking out. I put it together in my head, assured her that it was him who approached me and not the other way around; and I just wanted to hear him out.

She continued freaking out and ultimately her best friend noticed this and dragged me away from the guy. I was left consoling her on the way back.

After this we had multiple conversations about this topic, she asked for my feelings and boundaries. I told her that specific bar makes me uncomfortable. She then assured me that she wouldn’t go there again. (She did end up going 3 times after that…)

3rd Incident: We were at the same fest 2 years later. I’m not one for huge crowds or concerts; she enjoys dancing in such settings. There was a concert and we were trying to look for her friends but unfortunately we couldn’t find them. I tried to encourage her to dance by dancing myself. But she seemed out of it. We went to a secluded spot then and were making out. Out of the blue she says “I’d much rather be in the crowd with my friends rather than here” I was taken aback by this, and when I inquired where this is coming from she said “It’s just your insecurities acting up”

I was heartbroken. I excused myself and left.

Now 3 years in, she’s going to move to my city for work. This is the first time we’ll be actively living in the same place for an extended period of time. Our relationship is so shaky we have trust and communication issues. I still love her. Is there any way at all to make this work?

Submitted May 21, 2022 at 02:14AM by throwaway_RTH https://ift.tt/iwbOXJS