This is my first time posting here, please bare with me. I apologize about the formatting in advance, I’m on mobile. My (24F) husband (24M) and I have been through a lot. The fact that I’m even writing this says that obviously things aren’t great. We have been together for 6 years, married since February of this year.
A little backstory: we have two kids (5F & 2M) and have been together on and off since middle school (11). The entire time we have been together he has cheated on me and I’m aware that I’m an idiot for staying, but this is partly why I’m seeking advice. Up until last year, he had never really drank at all as he wasn’t a fan of it and none of the cheating had been “physical.” It wasn’t until June of 2021 that I discovered he had been cheating for quite some time with someone in our town and he left.
Fast forward a few months and we decide to try and save our family. The issue is he came back with an alcohol addiction. I grew up with a mother who was an addict and an alcoholic grandfather and I don’t want to deal with it. The major issue is he can’t just have one drink. The last time he actually drank without me saying anything about the limit, I ended up nearly killed. I was punched in the face twice, had a cocked gun put to my head in front of my kids and mother while he threatened to paint the walls with my brains, and was choked.
The next day he said he was going to stop drinking and it wouldn’t happen again (a week ago). Well now, he’s finding reasons to leave the house, gets alcohol while he’s out, drinks, and then shows back up drunk and LIES. Will swear on his children he hasn’t drank, but passed out in his dinner at 8:30 tonight and is now passed out on the couch and won’t budge.
I guess my question is, can people change or should I start planning an out? He says he has realized what he has and won’t cheat anymore. Says he’ll stop drinking. But I’m being lied to about him drinking, spending money, etc. The fights starting to get physical and for the first time in our relationship, I’m genuinely scared of him. Plus I wanted to break the cycle and not let my kids see this stuff. I watched my mom get beat as a kid and I saw the same look in my daughters eyes the other night. Do people get better? Or is it escalating and I need to get out ASAP?
I feel so lost. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. I feel like I’m going crazy. Any advice is appreciated, please.
TLDR; my husband used to never drink, developed an alcohol addiction after running off with mistress, came back and got physical, swore to quit, but now he’s just hiding it and lying. He is way more mean while drunk. Are things escalating? Should I get a divorce?
Submitted May 11, 2022 at 08:39PM by winter429 https://ift.tt/3INYpoa
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