My sister, May, and I had a bad childhood growing up. May was all I really had, and we are extremely close. We've always been really affectionate with each other, and neither of us had an issue with it. Though, it might just be because we grew up that way, rather than it being normal.
Three weeks ago May had to move in with me and my girlfriend, Elly, after a bad breakup. Elly wasn't a huge fan of the arrangement, but I assumed it was because we would have less time alone. Turns out it was more than that.
Last saturday set everything off. Elly had a party with a friend and was away the whole night. May and I ended up cuddling and watching some movies. We ended up falling asleep together in my (and Elly's) bed. For us, this is normal, and completely non-sexual. We are not into each other, we just enjoy being around each other and she found it comforting given everything that was happening to her. When Elly got home and saw us, she got pretty mad. She decided to wait for my sister to leave for work before talking to me, though.
Elly thinks it's completely innapropriate for us to sleep together. She feels like we act more like partners than siblings. It's possible I just don't know good boundaries. May and I do hug and kiss (NOT on lips) a lot. Elly finds it weird how I sit or lay on my sisters lap, or when we pat/stroke (non-sexual so I'm not sure if this is the right word) the others face or hair and stuff. These were the main physical stuff, but Elly also felt we sometimes crossed the line being verbally affectionate. She said she understood May is going through a hard time, and we couldn't have a normal relationship growing up, but she just can't ignore it. Apparently she's always found our relationship weird, but since we didn't live with May and it wasn't constant, Elly just pretended she didn't find it weird.
I figured I just didn't understand because of how I grew up. So I had a talk with May about doing this stuff less, or at least not around my girlfriend. She didn't take it well. She was offended that Elly thinks it's wrong, and just completely disagrees. May tried to talk to Elly, but it ended up going nowhere. May thinks Elly is being controlling, and that we've always been close and there for each other. Since we both enjoy it and find it comforting, she refuses to stop or even lessen it just because my girlfriend finds it weird. Elly was very polite about everything, and tried to be clear that she wasn't attacking me but just trying to explain why its wrong. After their fight, Elly definitely thinks its a bad idea for me to act that way with May, and that if May won't listen that I should start ending affection myself.
Personally, I feel May is right. But I'm not in a position to see clearly. I don't want to hurt either of them but it doesn't seem there will be a compromise. Honestly I don't know who is right or if my relationship with May is wrong. Who's right here and what should I do?
Tl;dr - my sister and I are very affectionate. We happily cuddle and kiss (no lips) and stuff. My girlfriend thinks I have terrible boundaries and it's on a weird and creepy level. My sister disagrees. I'm not sure who's right or how to proceed.
Submitted December 13, 2021 at 05:08AM by ThrowRA-turtle462 https://ift.tt/3m29w6x
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