We've been together for a year now ( our anniversary was in November. I'll be referring to him as M ). However, at an earlier point in our relationship, we took a small break. I felt unloved, like he only came to me for sex and nothing else. Upon telling him I needed a break, he immediately got angry at me— claiming I was going to spread lies about him and so on. I never did anything of the sort, however, he spread lies about me. It caused my friends to ditch me, and I got an especially hateful rant from my boyfriend's other partner (21NB, for context boyfriend is polyamorous. I was never involved with them romantically, and I'll just call them S ). S told me things like "You deserve to be alone". This wasn't new for them, though, as they have had a few years worth of history when it comes to verbally abusing me.
Flash forward about a month. I message M, worried about him. I don't really know why I did this, I guess I'm just stupid, but I was concerned he might have hurt himself. He started begging me to get back with him, to which I denied. He continued to ask me if I wanted to try again for the course of around a week, maybe. Eventually I told him I'd be willing to try as long as he wasn't in a relationship with S anymore. I felt unsafe around S, so I wanted to avoid being around them or being in a relationship with someone who's going to kiss a person who hurt me for years. He told me they had broken up, so I decided to try again.
Everything went fine for a while. Thinking back on it, there were some red flags. I remember that one time we got on a discussion of him flirting with people, to which I told him I was fine with it. My one exception was I didn't want him having sex with strangers. This got him really mad at me, saying he didn't want me to restrict him and such. I just took it as me sounding controlling, so I brushed it off. We had been back together for about a month now.
Yesterday was when it hit the fan. What he told me at first was that he still had feelings for S, to which I asked him not to act on. He soon admitted to me that he was lying, and that he was still in a relationship with S. He had been from the start, and he lied to me so we would get back together. S was in on it, too. They both knew and covered it up for almost a month, never considering how much it'd hurt me.
TL;DR Boyfriend and I split up. I told him I didn't want to get back together if he was still dating someone abusive towards me. He said he wasn't, so I got with him. Now, it turns out he's been lying, and they're still together. We broke up, but he's asking me to love him again and I don't know what to do.
Submitted December 03, 2021 at 01:46AM by IntroductionOk6440 https://ift.tt/3IhhT7N
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