I(24 F) was cut off by my mom (40 F) for joining the army and now she wants to patch up

So, I posted this in relationship_advice too but fell asleep and got like one response and a message telling me to try here and a mom specific subreddit so might as well try it on here too.

When I (24 F) was 18 and went to college, my father got me into a military program which helped me become an engineer in the army. My mom cut me off and there was no contact for four years. After I graduated and joined the army we started talking again but I only actually met her in person once and it was a trip where she met my then boyfriend (now fiancee). Even though I invited her to my engagement party, she didn't come but we talked for half an hour that day.

I'm getting married next year and two days ago my mom called me and asked when I was coming home to be with family. Her saying that caused all this anger I had to bubble up and pretty much tell her never and that she'd replaced me with her new family which led to her crying before hanging up. My fiancee told me it is best to forgive her as she seems to want to patch up and my father told me to be grateful for all that she did.

Then yesterday I got a call from my cousin Annabella (28 F) about wedding planning. She's going to be my MOH and her daughter Camila (4 F) will be my flower girl (I'm only having one). My cousin and niece are perfect for those spots and I'm really looking forward to meeting with Annabella next week to start the wedding planning. Turns out my mom called Annabella earlier and learned she was flying over for the planning so the call was a courtesy that my mom's gonna phone again.

And she did like minutes after I said bye to Annabella and she was begging me to let her fly out with Annabella and Camila. She told me she knew that she'd hurt me and wanted to make it better and thinks this might be the best chance we have since I'll be having my own family after marriage. I told her I needed to think about it. It was a hard sleep last night and I've been struggling with what to do. Hell, I don't even know if I'm right to be posting this on the internet.

tl;dr:

I told my mom that I had no intention to return home because she had replaced me, she learned from my cousin about my wedding planning and begged me to let her come so that she and I can patch up under the guise of wedding planning.

Submitted December 07, 2021 at 09:29AM by PerDegaton https://ift.tt/3lHjE4D