Me (33 F)and my sister/best friend (35 F) stay together. We rescue animals, have 12 pets with and co-own a business. She recently started dating a guy whom she really likes and would like to get into a relationship with. The guy comes over for the weekend to stay with us. We co-own two apartments on the same floor. She is very sure she does not want to leave the life she has created for herself. The thing is the guy is really socially awkward. When initially he came into her life I was very respectful and polite towards him. I was very excited and happy for my sister. She had finally started to move on from her past abusive relationships. I took steps/initiatives to have decent conversations with him (my sister told me to take initiative) while allowing them the time and space.
Over the past 2 months, weekend have become very stressful for me particularly. I get very unwelcoming vibes from this guy and he makes me feel I am an intruder. However, I don’t get these vibes from my sister. Based on her request, I joined them once for a lunch and dinner. The guy literally started picking up on my food choices. I felt bad, awkward and judged. My sister'’s reason for this is he is like this. This is his personality. You learn to ignore. I ignored it for 2 months. But the guy just won’t stop picking on me. She tells me he is stupid so learn to ignore the jerk.
When my sister is not around he literally gives me death stares and there have been times I have told him hello and he did not even reply leave alone smiling or being courteous. I thought this was rude. There have been times when I am talking to my sister about a topic in front of him (anything from work related to neutral topics). This guy would just keep talking while we are having a conversation. He would deliberately do this when I start talking to my sister. She tells me he likes nitpicking on people. Infact, he loves it.
I politely excuse myself from these situations. Last weekend, I was just going into the kitchen to put dishes in the dishwasher and planning on making myself some coffee. I went to ask my sister if she and he would like to have some. The guy literally tells her I came to check on them to see if they are making out. It felt really awkward and since then I told my sister this was a bit surprising. I politely asked her I would not be seeing her during the weekends. She could come over to my apartment whenever she felt like. She was not okay with it but respected my decision. I don’t know how to handle this social situation. We co-own both the houses & business and I have my pets who I love to spend time with. When I would go to that apartment to take my stuff or help with her with household chores, there is radio silence. My sister does not want me to leave but the guy gives me very negative vibes like I just should not be there. What should I do? My sister told me not to take permanent decisions on something that might be temporary. But it does not feel temporary to me.
TL:DR - My sister/best friend is dating a socially awkward guy. He visits her every weekends. I get unwelcoming vibes, death stares from him when I am around. I have stopped going to my apartment because he nitpicks really badly on me. I am not sure of how to handle this situation. My sister is very welcoming and wants me to be around.
Submitted November 01, 2021 at 04:24AM by nickchangs https://ift.tt/3CLDHoM
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