I came on here looking for some advice on how to deal with this scenario. Please do not trash on my boyfriend, I genuinely love him and think the world of him but I'm looking for some outside opinions and advice.
I have the sweetest, goofiest boyfriend in the world. We have been together for 2 and a half years and are planning to move in together in December. But I've noticed recently that my boyfriend (27 m) has developed a bit of animosity towards me(24 f). It'll happen randomly. He'll be happy and perfectly fine and will then just randomly develop a sour mood. But only towards me. At first, I thought it was due to stress at work, as he frequently has to work overtime. But as it started to get more frequent, I got more concerned.
I eventually decided to ask him if he was still happy in our relationship, to see where his headspace was at. He said he was, but occasionally said he was not. When I asked him why, he said it was due to situations when we have fought on in the past. They are situations where we have had a fight, made up, and then have modified how we interact with each other. An example being that I used to make a lot of sarcastic jokes towards him, as I do with a lot of my friends. They hurt his feelings and he told me he didn't like them so I stopped doing them after he told me about it.
I asked him if he thought that I did not change at all and he told me that I absolutely did, but when the thoughts come up in his mind that these things happened in the past and he remembers them, he gets angry at me again. And that is why he was been getting more sour towards me and and having more animosity. I told him that I didn't think that was fair to me, as if we already have resolved a disagreement and things aren't happening the same way again then he shouldn't hold resentment towards me. He agreed, but said he felt like he didn't get to be angry at the time and that's why he still gets resentful about our previous fights. To which I told him that I 100% support him being firm and standing up for himself when we having a disagreement and that I do not want him to suppress himself and make him be docile because I want to have a relationship where both people are happy, not a relationship where one person feels shut out.
What can we both do the get past this and eliminate any sort of animosity and resentment he still has? I'm not sure how to deal with this to be honest, is there anything I can do at all? It's confusing because he said that I'm not doing anything wrong at all. So how can we work past this?
TDLR; my boyfriend is resentful towards me over situations that we have already resolved in the past.
Submitted August 20, 2021 at 05:54AM by lhankyb https://ift.tt/3mlh3OI
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