First things first. Im a Bisexual Guy and I came out to my family when I was 17. After the first shock they were real supportive, which suprised me since my parents are both faithfull christians.
So after coming out I dated a guy for a year and some months. While I had no much effort to hide our relationship, he had. He wasnt into showing it in public, which I can get because some people are from company A some from company B. We were allways at my place and when I was with him he introduced me to his parents as his "good friend". Maybe some of you allready got it, but he was still in the closet. I called him out for it and he got defensive. He said to me that: "while his mother would accept him, his father is really conservative and so is the family of his father. They would never accept it and he needs his father to pay for his education at a private university (his family was pretty rich, while I come from a Immigrant/working class backround)".
I told him, that I would stay by him and that my family would take him in when he would be kicked out (my Mother said that clearly to me). I was a dumb 19 y.o guy and stayed with him in our semi secret relationship. I wasnt allowed to post pictures of us which showed us clearly as a couple and I couldnt tell some people (like most of my friends. Only my siblings and my best friend knew that we were dating). We dated for nearly one and a half years.
He ended our relationship shortly after my 20th birthday. He told me that his parents set him up on a date with the daughter of a coworker of his dads (his dad was a defence attorney, a pretty good one) and he wanted to date her for his parents sake. He then asked me if I want to be his "little secret". I fucking exploded on him and told him "If you want to break up with me then brake up, but I wont be your sidepiece or second choice!". He got mad at me and told me "I dont know how it is to be gay" and that "Bisexuality isnt really a thing, its for gay people who couldnt admit to themselves that they are gay" and that I "have a family of hippocrates who just dont want to be seen as homophobes". When he brought my family into this I fucking slapped him. Thats the only part I regret, because violence is never an option.
We went on no contact. We were consensual ghosting eacht other. No one was blocked, we just stopped having contact. I was in a really dark place after that. Sure I had a relationsip before, but my first girlfriend and I were a coule for only three months. This was my first real relationship. After a period of sadness I had a period of hate. He wasnt the one who got away. He was just afraid. After the hate I had closure. I moved on.
Some months later I met my now Girlfriend (24f). We met on a mutual friends birthday party. She was the first person who let me feel good in a long time. We hit it of pretty good and after a year of friendship we both admitted, that we had feelings for each other. We are dating since nearly three years now. Before covid hit the world like kick in the balls we moved in together and everything is fine. Im happy. We are happy.
Aaaaand then I got a text last week. It was just "Is this till OPs number?". I havent changed my number since im 16 (and Im proud of it) so I said yes. It was my Ex. I was suprised, because he was the one who told me, that he never want to see me again. We had some smalltalk. He asked me what Im doing now (i'm a Nurse) and what he is doing (something with taxes or economy or....idk, some good paid office Job).
Out of the blue he told me that "everything is forgotten" and that he is "ready for me now". As soon he was indipendend from his parents he told that he is gay. His father needed some time but he was okay with it. I congratulated him for coming out and that is went well. He then asked me if we could resume our relationship. I then told him, that Im in a realtionship with my GF since nearly three years. He got upset that I "didnt waited for him". I told him that he said hurtfull things to me and I was heartbroken when he started dating that girl. He then again told me that "I dont know how it is to have parents like his, because mine were supportive and we both said things. He forgave me why I couldnt forgive him" and that "bisexuality is just a stopover for being gay". I got mad and told him "that he should really look up bisexuality on wikipedia and that yes I dont know how it is to have parents like his and that the only thing Im sorry for is slapping him in the face back then. Im a simple man and I mean what I say most of the time". He then got angry and started cussing me out, but I just put my cellphone on silent and ignored him for the rest of the evening.
Today I got another text from him which was pretty long. He apologized for cussing me out that other night and that he wants to speak to me in person. I simply told him that "I said everything needed saying" and that "I wish him luck with his future, but my future is happening now". He got mad at me again and told me I "owed" it to him and that "he will see me, if I want or not". He also wrote my GF a DM on Instagram that she "stole me" and that she should look for a "straight guy". I told her to just block him, which is exactly what I did. But now I kinda feel bad. Maybe he has a right to talk to me face to face. But I just dont want it, because his viewings hasnt really changed since then and I didnt really want to talk to someone who doesnt approve of my sexuality/denies the existence. But I got my closure alone, maybe he needs to meet me for closure. It pretty f*cked up in my head right now.
Have some of you been in similar situations?
Should I meet up with him?
TLDR: Ex Boyfriend contacted me after nearly five years of silence and wants to pick up our relationship from the point before he left me. He got mad when I told him Im in a relationship now and I have no desire to be with him again.
And sorry for the english, its my third language and I wrote this after an nine hour shift at the hospital.
Submitted August 04, 2021 at 11:51AM by german_big_guy https://ift.tt/3js4FJW
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