First time poster and long time lurker (on mobile).
Okay so a bit of background, my bf (18m) and me (17f) have been dating for 10 months. I moved out and into the country I'm currently living in 11 months ago.
My boyfriend and I haven't been on the same page lately. Since corona has been decreasing, party's have started again (~ with under 20 people). Since I've moved here I haven't been able to make a lot of friends so I want to join my boyfriend on the party's he gets invited to, but he doesn't want me to. (Or at least not to most of them).
His reasoning behind this is that he wants to be able to do things without me. He thinks that if I join him I'll become friends with his friends and I'll want to join all his hangouts. And he wouldn't be able to hang out with his friends without me.
I personally don't agree with this statement because even if I did become friends with his friends we could just communicate about when I would or wouldn't join.
(I'm already friends with like 3 of his friends and have become quite close to them -these friends are not part of the friend group I talk about below-).
Okay so like a month and a half ago he went to a party with a group of friends (~around 10 people), he didn't let me join, but after the party he told me next time he has a party with that friend group I could tag along.
But later he told me he had talked to them (again?) And that I couldn't join as they would rather keep it boys night.
So my boyfriend and I trust each other and have no problem with grabbing each other's phones.
They were going to have a party again (yesterday) and tbh I found it quite weird that those other guys said that I couldn't tag along, because at first they did.
So when I grabbed his phone to check out a weather app he had, I ended up being curious and went to whatsapp and searched "girlfriend" to see if they actually said I couldn't go. In my language girlfriend and friend are the same word so it ended up showing the WhatsApp group from that party and there I found out that 3 other girls are going to the party and saw no chats of them saying I couldn't go or from my boyfriend asking them.
I wasn't expecting to see that other girls are going since he told me that I couldn't join because they wanted to have boys night.
So I asked him again if the reason I couldn't join was because it was a boys night, and he straight up lied to my face and said it was.
I'm not scared of him cheating, I trust him in that matter but I'm not happy that he lied to my face about it and now I don't know how to confront him since I found out by looking through his phone (which I know wasn't right).
He's already partied with that friend group like 4 times and now Its making me doubt if he lied the other times about there being girls too.
Now I don't know what to do/think. Is this a red flag, is it just boundaries? Should I tell him I know he lied or not, I don't know what to do.
P.s - these parties are at people's houses, and not outside or in clubs. For context, everyone including those friends know I'm his girlfriend/that he has a girlfriend. I sleep at his (parents) house like 3 times a week, and have a great relationship with his parents. Even the rest of his family that I haven't even met yet know that I'm his girlfriend.
TLDR- my boyfriend lied to my face about there being girls at a party after telling me the reason I couldn't go to the party is because he wanted to have a "boys night".
Submitted August 01, 2021 at 08:09AM by throwawayay2213 https://ift.tt/3ljhokB
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