Bf(29M) and I (29F) share our location. I’ve texted him sporadically throughout the day and realized he told me he was going out with friends to watch a sports game. Now he’s at a stripclub and I dnt know how to feel.

So we texted throughout the day sporadically. I was with my sister and family for the majority of the day. And i tried to ft on my way home but he didnt answer. Later he told me he was going out to a sporting event. A few hours later i texted him asking how it was and he kept it really brief saying its still going on but almost over. Then i respond with a text about something else unrelated and not too important and he doesnt open or respond. Which is fine. Now a few more hours past and its getting later 1am. And i notice he’s still out. Looks to be at a bar. I check in with him and say how Im up - which im usually asleep before midnight due to my class schedule. And i tell him to text/call me later once he gets home. He usually always texts me when he gets home even if im asleep. Its something we do. Anyhow, another hour or so past and i decide to see where’s he is at - we share locations with eachother. An I decide to lookup the location on google maps since he doesnt seem to be at a bar or else it wouldve shown up. And then i notice he’s at a strip club. Now I’m not 100% against him going to one. But i would like to know these things before he does them. I like transparency. If the tables were turned and I happened to be going to a male strip club. I would most certainly inform him. I just decide to text him asking what he’s doing. No response. Then another hour or so later. Notice he is still there. And im feeling super duper petty at this point and just say tht he must be having a blast if he cant text his gf back. At this point i dont have any intentions of texting him further. I dont understand why he cant simply check in with me. I wanted to know what others would do in this situation. I ultimately trust that he wouldnt do anything other than accompany his friends and look at the other girls. We havent explicitly talked about what is and isnt allowed in terms of strip clubs. But he knows any sort of cheating is a deal breaker. And i consider any sort of sexual touching as cheating. I want to ask him how his night was. But i want him to tell me about going to the stripclub and the deets. And by the pit in my stomach rn, i realize im not as cool as i thought about stripclubs. I just dont want him in that environment. Its something u do as a single man. Imho. Sigh.

Tldr: my boyfriend is out with friends and happened to go to a stripclub. I found out through checking his location as we share locations and he wasnt answering my texts which is not usual for him. Now i feel weird and have a pit in my stomach. I have no reason not to trust him. He’s been pretty honest and forthcoming in the relationship as far as I know. What should I do from here?

Edit: so update here for anyone who cares to know. He ftimed me while in the uber with one of his friends who was pretty out of it. He seemed a little tired, but mostly with it. I told him to call me back when he was alone. He ftimed me when he got home. He could tell i seemed upset. I asked him to tell me about his “lame night”. He told me he was at the sporing event with a friend and ran into a bunch of people from his hs and some of his cousins who were visiting from out of state. He said tht afterwards they went to a bar then a stripclub. He said he felt weird being there and left to meet up with a friend at another bar. He said about the other dudes getting lap dances but he didnt get one. I asked if there was other non single guys there and he said there was and he didnt get a lap dance either. I told him if there was anything that would be deemed as cheating to lmk or just break up with me because he knows how strongly i feel about that kind of stuff. He seemed really genuine and apologetic for not texting me about going to the strip club - even tho he usually would text me something like that. I told him im not comfortable with him going to the strip club and he told me that its fine and normal for me to feel the way i do. He said it would probs be weird if I was cool with it. He even said that he felt weird being there. I do trust that he didnt do anything other than frequent the strip club with a few dudes and bought drinks. I dont get the sense that he is lying. I genuinely trust him and love him a lot. I had a momentary freak out and ‘jump to worse case scenario’ which my mind has a bad tendency of doing. And ran to reddit to express my worse fear. But im glad it was nothing more than poor oversight on his end. Sometimes i ride a fine line if not wanting to be played for a fool but also wanting to place my full trust in someone. Its something i struggle with from time to time. Its not easy but im slowly getting better at realizing i could only control my own actions and not the actions of others. Im sure we’ll talk some more when we both get some sleep for clarity. But we are on good terms as of now. He was upfront with where he was at. I just wish he told me sooner. He did say he would have eventually told me- probs the next day. And i do believe he would have. I just happened to look up his location and the paranoia and story telling grew from there. Things i have to work on, it aint easy tho

Submitted August 01, 2021 at 12:34AM by ha_good1 https://ift.tt/2VrEVEU