I recently learned that what she does is called stonewalling. It's absolutely miserable and it feels like emotional abuse. For those who don't know, stonewalling is when someone totally shuts down and refuses to discuss an issue. It is different from plain needing some space when it becomes prolonged, repeated and used as punishment.
She does it to punish me, she knows it hurts me and that is why she does it. It has gotten much worse over the last two years. The most recent time before this occurrence was on my birthday two months ago. We had taken a long weekend and I was a little behind on work. She wanted me to help her take the kids to the park, she does not work and I work from home but have a very chill job and usually do go to the park with them. But I was feeling behind on work and told her I need to stay home, we had plans to go out for dinner later. This made her decide to start punishing me with the silent treatment. I tried to reason with her, it's work you know, it pays our bills and is kind of important even if I'm able to be flexible with my schedule. I begged her to please not treat me this way on my birthday, I even caved and offered to help take the kids to the park. It didn't matter, she was ignoring me and even screamed at me when I tried to touch her. We did not go to dinner than night and she didn't talk to me for 3 days. I was completely destroyed, I couldn't see straight. I didn't understand why she was doing this to me, on my birthday of all days. How can someone say they love you and act normal and then within the span of 10 seconds start treating you like garbage over nothing?
This is not new, there have literally been dozens of these events over the years. Another one was because I had told her we could go do something but then I realized I had a work meeting and I told her we would have to do it later. She didn't talk to me for days after that. After my birthday incident I told her that if she ever behaved this way again we will get a divorce. I've asked her many times over the years to stop doing this. It hurts me and I know she is doing it just to be hurtful and it has to stop. This is the only thing I've ever asked of her and she has refused to change it.
So now here I am it has been 48hrs that she has been giving me the silent treatment because she couldn't find the sunscreen and she determined it was my fault because I moved it. I thought she was joking but when I tried to hug her she literally pushed me away with force. We had just had normal breakfast about an hour before and I had hugged and kissed her before getting on a zoom call. Then during the course of the call, she had been looking for the sunscreen and completely lost her shit. I come downstairs and I found the sunscreen in 2 seconds sitting on the patio. It didn't matter, she was enraged with me, she wouldn't talk to me, told me to leave. I left the house, it has now been 48hrs and she has made no attempt to contact me. I can see she is very active on her social media, liking stupid pictures and writing pointless comments. She doesn't care at all that she has left me completely heartbroken over absolutely nothing.
Obviously I can't tolerate this any longer. I have to divorce her, I feel like such garbage right now. She knows she is making me feel this way and she just doesn't care. I think she enjoys it. In her mind, I made her angry by moving the sunscreen (I didn't move the sunscreen) so now it's fair for her to make me angry by ignoring me for several days.
TL;DR my wife stonewalls me in cruel ways even though we've discussed it
Submitted July 23, 2021 at 08:43PM by Broad-Sky-509 https://ift.tt/3x2xHEP
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