So I recently joined a meetup group, and became fast friends with a girl. Within weeks it got to the point where we were texting all the time, going out for drinks and sharing intimate details of our lives (without the actual intimacy). We're both gay, but she has a partner who she loves and is committed to. I was excited initially because it felt like I had gained a really good friend, but then started to realise that I actually had a bit of a crush on her.
I realise that it would never work out between the two of us - she's in love with her partner and they have plans to move in together and I'm really happy for her. The situation with our meetup group isn't going to change anytime soon either, and even if she was single it could potentially make things very awkward there. So i've locked those feelings away and have been spending time trying to get over it.
A few weeks ago she admitted that she hasn't been spending as much time with her partner as she should be, and cancelled plans for a day we were hanging out. I was absolutely fine with this because she needs to put her partner first at the end of the day. I told her as much and gave her a little space; not reaching out as much or replying as much as I usually would.
But ever since then things have been a bit strained. She won't really message me outside of the group messages, and hasn't reached out to spend time together outside of the meetup group. Usually we'd go for food and drinks, and be up talking for most of the night... but that has all stopped.
I will admit that there have been a few occasions where i've thought she was interested in me too, she has said things that have alluded to it and people have assumed we are a couple before - but I always steer the conversation back to her partner. I may have been imagining it but part of me thinks I wasn't. So either she put the distance there because she realised I had a crush on her (most likely explanation), or she returned the feelings and felt like it was the best option.
I guess what i'm asking is - how do I get things back to normal with my friend? I have been very careful not to make my crush obvious or make her uncomfortable in any way, but i'm worried I have overstepped some sort of line and not realised it. I just want my friend back without the weirdness.
I would really appreciate some sort of perspective on this, i'm crushed and a bit confused about the complete 180.
TLDR: A few months back became fast friends with a girl, had a crush on her, haven't acted on it but now things are weird between us and I just want my friend back.
Submitted July 23, 2021 at 06:09AM by hanrossMo https://ift.tt/3rvxM2p
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