Update: My (16F) mother (50F) gets angry whenever adults show me affection or are nice to me, and I don't know why

Um, hi? So I don’t know how to do this update thing, or if I even should, but I wanted to first thank you guys for taking the time to reply to my original post, and that I sat my mom down when she seemed calm/in a good mood like some of you suggested and told her exactly what I wrote down in the other text. That I don’t understand why she gets mad when other parents/mothers try to show me affection.

To be honest I was seriously apprehending approaching her like that out of the blue, so I admit it took me some days after I uploaded that post to, you know, muster my courage. Ik, ik, I’m a chicken, lol, but this is all very intimidating. And some of the comments made me pause, like the ones that suggested she may have gone thru something traumatic when she was younger (just worrying about it made me sick, but thankfully nothing of the sort happened), so I tried my best to tread as carefully as I could. Let’s just say it did not go well, bc she immediately got defensive and it escalated. Unfortunately. But not surprising. It got to the point where I told her that maybe she thinks I don’t deserve affection, that maybe deep down she hates me and it’s why she reacts so strongly to all that, and she just got even angrier. So long short story, the whole thing was just .. bad, lol.

I didn’t come out of my room after that, not even to eat dinner, and surprisingly she sought me out at around 11 pm and tucked me to bed like I was still a kid. She got awkward, I got awkward, and I don’t know, she stroked my cheek? Just writing down makes me feel weird. She told me she of course didn’t hate me, went on a rant about the ridiculous ideas that I sometimes get, and told me other parents had no business showing her kid any sort of attention or trying to undermine her parenting. All the while stroking my cheek. So. Weird.

We talked for an hour or more but basically she hates it when others try to get too close to me, she told me I wouldn’t understand because it’s a sort of possessiveness/protectiveness that only moms feel. She also warned me that you never know what to expect from others, that she’d rather be safe with things like that. Then she kind of apologized, in a weird way, about how gentleness doesn’t come naturally to her, which I kind of understand because grandma is the same, but that it didn’t mean others ought to try and steal me from her. She actually said steal. Mad, I swear. And everything she said? I had to practically annoy it out of her. But she said all that and more, and I feel like maybe we should try to talk a lot more about all this, because she shouldn’t have to feel jealous? Is that right term? of others. Like??? Or maybe this is normal?

And nothing happened to her when she was younger, thankfully, so that’s relieving. We spoke about that, too. I also kind of hugged her in the end, just rested my head on her chest until I fell asleep, but she stroked my hair the whole time and kissed my forehead! Guys, I don’t know who that woman is anymore lol. But seriously, thanks to everyone who replied the first time, a lot!!

TL;DR - Mom opened up and we spoke about what's been going on, and why she's been reacting that way

Submitted March 03, 2021 at 04:18PM by Feeling_Idea4934 https://ift.tt/3bXccfW