My(30f) BF(30m) wants to get involved in my personal projects, but keeps pushing ideas that won't work or I just don't want to do. How can I politely get him to stop doing this? Together 3yrs.

I do a lot of projects both for art commissions and for charities, it's kind of my thing that I like doing. My BF likes to offer advice and help, and I know I should be grateful but he starts really pushing and changing things and I've told him I want to do stuff myself.

E.g I made a kids book dummy and I know exactly how I want to publish it. It's just a picture book not much writing. I want it to be a physical copy as it's not small and just wouldn't work digitally on a kindle etc as it's mainly large double page spreads. He suggested getting it published digitally through Amazon and wouldn't let it go even though I told him it wouldn't work and why. He was 'looking into it' and said 'but if it sells well they might even do physical copies'. It took me forever to get him to see that a DPS wouldn't work on a tablet/phone, and even if there were large screens and people would want to read a picture book on a TV or something daft, my wish was it to be a physical book. He eventually stopped but wants to help me publish it on the grounds that he will 'not make a loss' so I told him no, and that seems to have been dropped now.

I made a website and for my art and came up with a good name, and he spent ages trying to come up with slogans, when it really didn't need a slogan. Also his suggestions were really bad and kiddish and the website wasn't marketed towards kids. He kept wanting to add stuff and change stuff and while I appreciate his suggestions, the amount of times I had to say that I wanted to keep it simple and not have kiddy slogans was exhausting.

But another thing I'm doing is a colouring competition for kids to raise money for an Animal Charity. I've set it up and started spreading the word. He helped and asked around his mates which was nice. But then he asked if he could help me judge, I told him I'm not going to be a judge I want it someone who doesn't know any of the entrants or their parents. He said "I'll go out and buy some prizes for the runners up! We can have 3 in each age group!" I've said again as it's for charity I don't wana be posting lots of prizes out I just want one winner in each age group (3) it's very cheap to enter. Hes also suggesting things for prizes that aren't fun for many kids, and are expensive, like day trips to wildlife reserves etc. I just wanted to get some fun toys and maybe a magazine.

One thing that bothers me is he dismisses when I tell him the thing he's advised isn't what I'm going for. He doesn't 'argue' but he pushes it, or acts as though I never dismissed it and brings it up again as though I was totally on board. Like he knows best and wants to take the reigns.

I feel a bit patronised like he think he knows best about everything, even my own line of work and my own interests that he has no experience in. I also feel bad keep rejecting his help, but I just want to do it myself and have told him that it's nice that he helps advertise, but I've done projects like this all my life and don't need any changes or forceful suggestions which are then pushed onto me for weeks on end.

Am I an ungrateful b**** for having a partner who wants to get involved and support me? How can I communicate that I want to do it myself without him keep pushing?

TL:Dr: BF keeps pushing ideas for my personal projects and ignoring when I turn them down. How can I politely stop him from doing this?

Submitted March 01, 2021 at 06:07AM by GreenSpeed134 https://ift.tt/2O9tzSH