My boyfriend (25M) and I (25F) have been friends for about 10 years now and decided to started dating a few months ago. During COVID we got closer than ever before, spent a lot of time together individually and with mutual friends, and texted/talked for months. We've known each other for so long that we've already said I love you (a month in) and talked about a future together getting married, having kids, etc. multiple times. In the past two months we've had the best time and truly fell in love, but have also recently been having a lot of fights over him being needy and not understanding that I need some more space during the work week (ie. not spending every night together). His argument being he was upset because he thought I was pulling away, but I feel he was being unreasonable. The past few weeks have been especially rocky.
This weekend when we were talking about his moods/our fights, and he finally broke down and told me that he had an unplanned child in college that is now a toddler. The girl he was seeing found out she was pregnant late into the pregnancy and they decided to have an open adoption. My boyfriend and his family are still active in the child's life, getting text/call updates on big life updates, visiting etc. He even saw his biological child recently (a few weeks ago) and didn't tell me about it, even when I drove him to/from the airport.
I know it was difficult for him to tell me, but I feel hurt that he didn't tell me sooner because we had been friends for so long, talked about our future life, and obviously this child is a huge part of his life. I've also visited and stayed with his family multiple times and they all kept it from me at his request. He also admitted that he waited to tell me because he thought if I knew maybe I wouldn't want to date him. Now, I'm feeling like he purposely waited to tell me this until we had fallen in love and gotten serious. Since he's told me, he has been completely open to talking about it now and sharing pictures/videos and I know he feels great like a weight has been lifted--but I feel overwhelmed. We've been trying to work through the fights, but now combined with this news I'm not sure if I can still be with him. Looking for advice...
TL;DR: 2 months into a relationship with my [25F] best guy friend [25M] of 10 years, after getting serious, he told me he has a toddler aged child and has a open adoption with his biological son
Submitted March 01, 2021 at 03:01PM by Cabernet6621 https://ift.tt/3reOhze
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