Sorry for using a throwaway, but my husband occasionally reddits.. and God I need to vent. Really, really vent.
So, recently, after years and years of dramas and issues including 2 years of TTC my son, I've been diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis, adenomyosis and uterine fibroids. It sucks but hey, at least I now know that all of the pain and associated badness aren't all in my head!
Long story short, a solution I was offered was to have a Mirena IUD placed which, in some women, is supposed to stop menstruation. No bleeding, no pain! Sounds great, but I'm wary of it. I've had to have 2 copper IUDs removed in the past, once due to displacement found after an early miscarriage and one due to partial perforation of my uterus. Also, my body hates hormones. Like, really really hates them. My specialist, who's the pre-eminent endo specialist in my state, basically says it's this or a hysterectomy.
I know there are many women out there who have had hysterectomies and are happy, but I'm not there yet, emotionally. It seems so permanent. I feel too young. What if it causes more issues than it fixes? What if it kills my sex life completely? What if, what if, what if... you get the idea. So, I have the Mirena placed (ouch).
It was done two months ago now and fair to say it hasn't been a success. It's been two months of constant bleeding, weird pain and really awful moodswings. My specialist says it can take 3 to six months to settle. I'm prepared to wait it out because I just want to have a solution to this goddamn disease. Until, a few nights ago, when there's a pain so intense I can't breathe. I'm no wuss with pain, I had an ovarian cyst rupture and bleed into my pelvis and I took almost 12 hours to get myself to hospital - but this was otherworldly. It died down, but something wasn't right... and still isn't.
Off to the Dr I go, who refers me for an ultrasound. I went yesterday and yeah, it's not great. The ultrasound tech was fantastic, friendly and knowledgeable and had no issues with giving me what information he could. As soon as he saw my uterus on the screen it was clear that the IUD had moved. Like, my uterus was empty, nothing there, no device seen. He had a hunt for it and saw it way down past where it was supposed to be, which would explain my pain. The freakin thing has embedded itself somewhere near my cervix, my body has partially expelled it and it's lying sideways trying to escape (more ouch). He can't see if it's actually perforated anything but suspects so and is sending the pics to my Dr asap.
I'm unsurprised, but I'm gutted. And angry. And disappointed. I keep hearing "It's this or a hysterectomy" in my head. I get out to the car park and call my husband who listens and empathises and says he has a hug for me when I get home. Awesome, right?
I get home. Not so awesome. I start explaining what I saw in more detail, and what I know. Husband interrupts. Stops me. Says he'd rather hear it from the specialist. I'm like... what? Why? I know what I saw, and what I know, I was there and saw everything on screen clear as day. He says he doesn't think the ultrasound tech should be diagnosing anything. I go quiet. Why is he not listening to me? He notices I'm quiet. Gets annoyed. Asks me if what he's saying isn't fair enough? I say no, it's not fair enough. That he needs to listen to the information that I'm giving him. He says he is, but thinks the specialist should be the one to confirm first. I'm seething at this point. Now not only gutted, and disappointed, but now feeling like an idiot. Husband is getting more annoyed by the second. This is turning into a fight? Why? He says he doesn't know what to say to make me not angry with him. I tell him he doesn't have to say anything, he needs to listen, ask me questions if he needs clarification, understand what I'm telling him. His response? "I'm not here to dance to your narrative". I'm in tears. He leaves the room.
I'm not going to lie, everything hit me at that point. All the pain, anger, frustration. I let out a scream, start sobbing, and run into the backyard in tears. He comes out, asks me what I think I'm doing. I tell him to please go away. He does. And now he's not talking to me. Radio silence, since last night. And here we are.
I can't reconcile this. I don't understand how someone who is supposed to love me could be this cold, and unempathetic, and just... cluelessly mean. We fight, he and I, sometimes really badly but this is something else. I'm confused. What do I do? What would you do? I don't want him to be involved with any of my medical stuff anymore, honestly? Is that just me being petty? Help?
tl;dr My husband won’t listen to my answers to his questions about my health issues, I get frustrated, he gets angry. Now we’re fighting. Help?
EDIT: I’ve decided that I want this thing out, it’s caused me nothing but pain and bleeding for the past 2 months straight. I’m sitting in ED waiting. My husband has asked if there’s anything he could do, but he didn’t offer to drive me or to come with me (he’s home, not working today) and I’m really hurt by that.
EDIT 2: The ED has managed to get the ultrasound report faxed through (I didn’t even know people used faxes anymore) and have a look themselves and it’s clear that the IUD is misplaced and needs to come out. Like I tried to explain to my husband. So I’m waiting, alone, stressed and unhappy. Yay me.
Submitted December 04, 2020 at 06:20PM by the_broken_sloth https://ift.tt/3oinhwK
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