How do we (Family of 10, me M40) get through to an insanely stubborn family member? (Brother M42). Even when the whole family is shouting at them for being blatantly unreasonable, yet they stand firm and never compromise?

My (M40) birthday weekend, idealic Island getaway, sun about to set with some beautiful colours, my brother (M42) discovers a game is on. Turns on the TV, pulls down all the blinds blocking ocean views for all socialising and preparing dinner. It ruins everything. We may as well be in a basement somewhere, with no windows. But he rejects every request to lift the blinds to reveal the views.

We try half way, but he complains the light reduces his vision of the screen. The glare is impossible he says, and pulls them back down. Even though he's missed the last few, somehow he decides that this is the most crucial game and it's close. It's neither. Even fully up it's perfectly viewable, almost perfect if you move viewing position. I'm just as interested in the game and have no trouble seeing the screen. It's not cinema experience, it's a 24inch lcd screen and first time we have turned it on. And hey it's my party I didn't come here to watch the game?

He won't move seats or compromise on the blinds. Not one bit. My sister (F35) arks up. Brothers wife (F40) says 'cmon Matty, it's a shitty game, and it's raining'. Nope, he's even more steadfast. My sister being a psychologist tries a few tricks, but now he feels humiliated because it's him against us and buckles down as if he's missing the game.

It's not about the game. He just never, ever can surrender to others wishes over his. He will not be questioned or cower, when there is no actual cost to him (I've seen him change at work because his boss ordered him to. But family forgive, and give in let be, sadly).

Now that everyone has had their turn attempting to reason with him, really it's just mounting humiliation and makes him solidify his position. He will not surrender, AND LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU ALL FOR THE FUTURE!! (is the message I feel he is making). I can feel him thinking 'Don't even try!, it's not worth it, all u all just get angry/upset but nothing changes and I still get my way!'. It's his last ditch effort to save face. Stand strong and firm. Compromise is cowardly. You are all lesser.

We all just go outside and finish dinner later.

The game is dismal, he misses the last play as he needed the toilet. The ads are on, we start with dinner again and open the blinds. He returns, pulls them back down and takes the last beer that he knows is mine. The game in finished. We lost, and it's just shitty replays. He won't open the blinds, even though it's now dark outside.

More ads and a news break but he feels it's just as captivating. Anyway he won. Like he always does. Doesn't even care we are upset with him. He has triumphed, and no one can stop him. Never reason or common sense will get through to him. We occasionally raise our voices in our family, but never violence. So he goes on. Being him, his team may have lost but he won the war. Why can't he for once even give in! Even just for shits and giggles?.

TL;DR. When someone is insanely stubborn beyond all pleas or wishes of those around him, what can you do to get through to them? What needs to be done so he can not be so painfully stubborn? Basically "If it's not his idea he's not interested' without question.

Submitted December 05, 2020 at 06:49AM by L3T https://ift.tt/3qvMrtH