As the title states, I am losing more and more respect for my partner and getting frustrated with her lack of ambition. Maybe ambition isn’t the proper word; I’ll go into more detail.
I’m originally from the east coast (US) and moved to the west coast 7 years ago. This was my way of trying to become independent from my family. I didn’t have any issues with them, but I felt after finishing my undergraduate, I needed to stand on my own two feet and not rely on them for what I get out of life. I also grew up in a lower middle class home, so I’ve always felt like I needed to work hard to get what I want. I spent the next 5 years volunteering, working and going back to school to pursue my dream job. At 29, I felt that I earned the job of my dreams, achieved a position that was salaried before 30 (a small goal I set for myself), and was moving in the right direction.
I met my current girlfriend shortly after that. Over time, I found out how reliant she was on her family. She comes from an upper class family. Her car, she couldn’t get it without help from her family. Her job, her dad gave it to her. I understand her circumstances were different than mine, she had a child at 20. Now, I’ve relied on my family as well; they helped a lot with my college education and I wouldn’t be here without them. However, the latest issue is where I’m struggling the most.
She wants us to rent a house from her parents. Her parents don’t have a second home as this is being typed. She is looking at different properties and she has been saying this is a place she wants to live in for the next 3-5 years, but she’s also said that she wants to live there until her child is done with school (8 years, I honestly think she plans to stay there). To me, it appears as if her parents are purchasing a home for her and we are going to be paying their mortgage.
I’ve told her I have an issue with this as it feels like a handout. I tried to come to a compromise with her 2 weeks ago. I explained I would feel more comfortable renting a home for maybe 3 years max, then look into buying a home once I feel more stable in my position. I explained I don’t feel comfortable renting a home that your parents don’t even have yet. It feels like they are buying a property for you. 2 days later, she was going to a viewing for a house.
Am I being unreasonable? Should I further sacrifice my values to placate her?
Tl;dr: my girlfriend wants to us to rent a home that her parents haven’t even bought yet. I feel like it is another handout and would rather earn something like that. Am I being unreasonable?
Submitted August 25, 2020 at 12:20PM by sweatpantss https://ift.tt/2Qo9Egr
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