Some background: We have been together for 7 years. In those 7 years she has made some pretty life altering decisions that would effect me without prior discussion to her making said decisions. Some would include getting herself "fixed" and quitting a job to be "self-employed". I myself speak with her about major things first - I don't just do them. Also, I was never one who wanted to own a home, but I went and bought us a house so I didn't have to hear her whining about renting. Another thing was, the initial year we were dating and talking about moving in together, I had a pretty rambunctious dog. He was a happy dog, but too happy. So happy that she thought it'd be best I surrender him because she was afraid he was too wild to have around her young (at the time) children. So, I made that sacrifice.
In the last 4-5 years we did adopt a dog for the whole family. Since I have had dogs all my life I do consider myself a dog person and will do dog person things like dog "window shop". If I don't have a dog, maybe I'll end up with one. If I do I never consider having a second. So, we've had this dog and have dog "window shopped", but I have always said no to having a second dog.
Here are the reasons why: her kids are not responsible. They are not my kids. I tried having a cohesive parenting situation since Day One living together but she can't keep at making sure rules that are intended for the kids stay followed. She would create them, then she would let them be broken. Since I am better at trying to enforce rules, well, that just made me the "bad guy" to the kids. That being said, she rarely gives them chores and they maybe take care of our current dog 5% of the time between the two of them (now 10 and 12YO, respectively). My SO has also complained all these years about the cost of having the one dog has been, despite me paying for the vet and her the grooming, which with our dog the vet bills are always much more annually than the 3x/yr he gets groomed. I am also the one that buys his food and treats, etc. With that her responsibility is taking him to the vet with my money, but she always comes home complaining about it. She also doesn't take care of our dog very well either out of sheer laziness. She has resorted to just letting him in the backyard without a proper walking and doesn't pick up after him. Lastly, all three of them don't pick up after themselves and our dog has gotten into things that have both scared me and frustrated me. Like last night putting a chewed up piece of gum in an open wrapper and then just leaving it on the couch. I found myself last night using a scissors to cut gum off my dog's paw. I'm constantly finding cups and food containers and trash on the floor because they don't throw anything away and the dog gets into it. Just, preventable things that dog owners should be responsible with when owning a dog.
Believe it or not, that all was a short backstory. I could say more. But now I'm in a situation where she decided to take the kids to a breeder who has a local storefront and buy one of those special expensive puppies. You know, the ones that cost like almost two grand? And she did this without talking to me about it. Aside from the issues outlined above, the other thing right now is we simply don't have the money. We just had some basement work done that I had to take a loan out for and am trying to pay back. We both are in debt consolidation programs mostly because her "self-employed" ventures don't pan out sometimes and for months we have to live on my income. Lastly, my father has dementia and it's getting to the point where I want to help him and my mother out because my mother has to be home with him at all times and it's taking a toll on her now and it's still early, so I'm looking into trying to get everyone into a side-by-side so I can help my mom and my dad. That also is a financial thing right now.
So, I was pretty pissed off when she and the kids walked into the house with this $2k puppy. And she knew what she was doing was wrong because her conscious told her to call others for affirmation that she should do this knowing I'd be upset. No one knows what we're going through (that I am aware of) so of course she'll be told to do it. It's not like she let anyone into any of the details I am sharing with Reddit right now. Anyway, so I told her the dog can't stay. We can't have two dogs right now (really probably not ever as our current one also has special needs) and that sent her 10YO into her room crying. My SO told her not to cry because they're not getting rid of the dog. I said return the dog and she claims she can't. Then she pulls crazy out of her pocket and slyly suggests we get rid of our current dog then. I said he's not going anywhere, get rid of the puppy.
She had to run an errand (a short one, but she's been gone MUCH longer now) and I tried calling the breeder's store as they were listed as still open, but there was no answer. I emailed with no response yet. I went to their FB page and come to find my SO adopted the last of their puppies so they closed early and won't reopen for a week. I did leave a comment under that post with a TL;DR hoping they'll read my email and respond or call me.
I feel like this really is the last straw because of so many things from the past 7 years that I did tell her she can keep the puppy if they all move out and take it with them. And before anyone says that maybe this'll be the thing to teach them all to be responsible now NO, it won't. I have been made promises about how she would take care of a house if I bought one and she barely lifts a finger. When she does it's half-assed. I've been told the kids would have rules with their phones/tablets/computers are there are none. They are on them every waking moment. I also feel mostly responsible for the dog we already have.
So...what do I do?
TL;DR: SO and her kids came home with a $2k puppy I wasn't made aware of when they already aren't very responsible people, make life decisions without consulting me, we don't have the money right now, and we already have a dog that I mostly take care of myself.
Submitted August 28, 2020 at 04:53PM by throwaway_7453 https://ift.tt/3b6zO0H
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