How to deal with a partner’s excessive weight gain? Has anyone been able to just accept it after the partner not being able to lose weight?

I have been with my fiancée for 10 years, (we are both 27) although we had a 1.5 year break 3 years ago. He has been steadily gaining weight starting about 7 years ago. We first started dating he was super fit and had almost a bodybuilder physique. At the time we were 17 and I recognize that it’s very hard for people to maintain their high school bodies into adulthood. He must’ve weighed around 170 pounds then and now he weighs 275 and he’s 6 feet tall. I on the other hand, started off at around 120 pounds and now I’m closer to 135. I workout and eat healthy everyday and he does not. I don’t expect him to have his old body but I just want him to be even in the overweight category closer to 240 pounds.

I have tried many things to get him to lose weight. We have dieted together, and I actually lost weight but he didn’t because he was hiding snacks without telling me. And say he was running errands but actually getting fast food. We went to CYCLEBAR together where he actually did lose 10 pounds but decided to stop going because he didn’t want to anymore. I have tried positive reinforcement where I actually cook all his meals for him, but sometimes he won’t eat the vegetables because he doesn’t like the way they taste. I have tried being much more disciplined with him, but he doesn’t respond very well to any type of bluntness about what he’s eating. In the past year he’s probably gained another 20 to 30 pounds alone. He has tried the keto diet and many other diets where it doesn’t seem like you’re on a diet based on what you’re eating. We even moved to Colorado because he thought it would be a better food environment and a healthier lifestyle by biking to work and eating healthier. I gave up my entire life to move out here just so he can have a better environment to pursue a healthier lifestyle, now that we have been out here for a year he hasn’t really improved anything and still live the same lifestyle as he did when we lived in the south. I had him go to a weight-loss clinic pand he practically laughed in their faces because of the low amount of calories they wanted to eat per day and put him on pills. I feel like I’ve exhausted all options. I try to get people in his family to talk to him about his obesity, they have a typical American answer that he’s not fat. My parents are from the East and will straight up tell you if they noticed you gain any weight because they care about your health. His family who are also very obese don’t see any issues with it. Besides me being unattracted to him, I also noticed that he is less willing to do activities around the house and get chores done he’s overall less energetic and I feel like it’s tied to his weight gain. I am fed up tiptoeing around the topic and being sensitive about it because for over five years we have been working on his weight loss and all he has done is gained weight.

I don’t want to leave him because I love him very much and really his weight is the main issue in our relationship.

TLDR: my partner is obese and while he is trying to lose weight nothing is really working because he doesn’t stay committed to it. I don’t think he’s going to lose weight, is possible to just accept it and be happy?

Submitted August 26, 2020 at 09:59AM by BossKitten https://ift.tt/2QsKP2Z