My (30F) husband (30M) got married last year. We dated for a couple of years before we got married. My husband is an MBA while I am a Graphic Designer and he earns 3x more than me. We were both aware of the gap between our salaries but were fine with it cause we both didn't think we wanted a lot of

My (30F) husband (30M) got married last year. We dated for a couple of years before we got married. My husband is an MBA while I am a Graphic Designer and he earns 3x more than me. We were both aware of the gap between our salaries but were fine with it cause we both didn't think we wanted a lot of money, just enough to be reasonably comfortable. However, over the last year he has gotten a lot more stressed about money as he feels he will have to bear the burden of provider in the family. We both want a dog, want to have vacations, maybe buy a house etc and he feels the pressure of being the main provider in those aspects. I want to do my bit of course, but I'm not sure if he thinks that will be enough. I am ambitious and have a career plan but owning to our specialisation and the general market he will always end up earning more than me and might end up contributing more to our expenses as well.

Another complication is that he suffers from boughts of depression and low self-esteem and has been seeking help for more than 5 years. He finds everything bleak and hopeless sometimes but it gets difficult to separate his 'phases' and what he genuinely wants/thinks at times, something he brought up himself. During phases he compares us vs his friends (most of them married MBAs) so their HH income seems way high for him and he feels defeated.

We both know we have enough to be comfortable and I will do my bit in that but I'm not sure if this 'thinking' or 'feeling' goes away over time. Our HH income will always be lesser and I will always earn less than him and its unfair but he might have to bear the burden of expenses at times.

Are these issues generally workable in a marriage or is it one of those things which just keep getting worse. I don't want him to get bitter or resentful towards me because he is the main wage earner. Moreover, I don't want him to have depressive episodes because of this. Basically I want to know from other people with experiecne whether these issues get resolved or its better to rip the bandaid off early before we start hating each other

PS: Other than the financial aspect we both seem to be happy wiht each other. We have similar interests, hobbies, good friends circle etc and we haven't had any serious fights along these till now atleast

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TL;DR: Husband earns more than me. He thinks he has the burden of managing the household. Are such issues resolvable or its better to quit now?

Submitted August 31, 2020 at 12:14AM by peripheral_wisdom https://ift.tt/32Hdw1T